


Sans' Multiversal Taxi Service

by hekmat



Series: Taxi Adventures [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Any Other Car Doesn't Exist Here, Drug Use, Fair Warning: Author Has No Idea What He Is Doing, Gen, Guns, How Do I Write Fluff...?, It's Taxis For Miles, Nepotist Business Practices, Original AUs (probably...?), Partial Graphic Violence, Partial Magic System (maybe... don't count on it), Preboot Version, Swearing, Taxis, We Got Rid Of Them, can you go find all the skeletons? i seem to have lost them somewhere..., hmm...? there are too many skeletons now...?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hekmat/pseuds/hekmat
Summary: Sans is pushed by Papyrus to get a new job on the Surface to “SET A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR THE HUMANS!”, so he refits an old taxi with his modified time machine that he turned into a teleporter, driving those who are incapable of multiverse-level teleportation from AU to AU.Though, is it really a taxi service when you waive almost everybody's fare and let them live in your giant, mostly unoccupied mansion for free...?I don't know either.
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Sans/Ketchup (Undertale)
Series: Taxi Adventures [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155890
Comments: 55
Kudos: 21





	1. GET A JOB!!!!!!!

When Sans woke up and headed downstairs, he didn’t expect his brother to try and motivate him to get a job, considering how perpetually lazy the short potato was. 

He got down and sat on the couch to try and persuade Papyrus otherwise.

“aw, come on bro, human jobs are a skele-ton of work, it’d rib me apart.”

Papyrus seemed to ignore the puns. A disaster indeed.

“PLEASE, SANS? IT’LL SET A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR THE HUMANS!”

Sans rolled off the couch and onto the floor, groaning.

“paaaaaaap…”

“OH… FINE…”

This was his chance! His chance to be lazy for a little longer...

“...THEN WHAT ABOUT BEING A TAXI DRIVER?”

“i dunno bro, what’s it about?”

Of course, he already knew what a taxi driver was, though he decided to humor himself by asking.

“WELL, YOU SIT AND DRIVE AROUND IN A TAXI AND WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO WAVE YOU TO THE SIDE SO YOU CAN PICK THEM UP! YOU CAN STILL BE A LAZYBONES WHILE SITTING DOWN AND GET PAID FOR IT! SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT JOB FOR YOU, RIGHT?”

Honestly, Sans couldn't ask for more. His only thing on the list for a job was “be able to be lazy.” and Paps fulfilled it. 

“hmm… i don’t see why not, paps. i’d be able to tell a lot of ribticklers to people on the way, maybe get their funny bone.”

His brother’s skeletal face twisted into one teetering between utter annoyance and slight amusement.

“URGH… FINE, I GUESS IT IS A TRADEOFF THAT YOU’D TELL PUNS TO UNFORTUNATE PASSENGERS. WELL, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO START FOR GETTING A TAXI DRIVER JOB?”

“hmm… why not be self-employed? fixing up a car sure sounds like less work than gettin’ all dressed up and stuff for an interview if i have nothing on my resume except puns, heh.”

...never did finish his degree, did he?

“HMM… YOU DO MAKE A PERSUASIVE ARGUMENT. COME ON THEN, LET US GO BROWSE THE WORLD WIDE WEB FOR AUTOMOBILES, AND THAT COOL SIGN THEY PUT ON TOP OF IT!”

Ah, Papyrus, so innocent and cool, yet so smart. Maybe he could write a book.

Both of them departed towards Papyrus’ room to use the computer, and opened a website called Craigslist.

“uh, i dunno bro, that one looks like it’s from some superhero comic books…”

“COMIC BOOK SUPERHEROES ARE COOL! BESIDES, LOOKS DON’T MATTER, WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER IT CAN MOVE!”

“well… it’s pretty cheap. i still have some money from paying grillb’s tab, so we’ll buy it.”

“YES! OH MY GOD, SANS! YOU’LL BE GETTING A HUMAN JOB. NO THROWING ICE TO COOL DOWN THE CORE, NO SLEEPING ON THE JOB AT A STATION, JUST GOOD OLD DRIVING! I’M SO PROUD! NOW YOU’LL HAVE A REASON TO NOT DRIVE 80 MILES PER HOUR ON A TRICYCLE!”

Woah, he’s getting enthusiastic there. Well, guess Sans’ll buy it, then. Always nice to find new pun-lovers, anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowzers!!! let's go!!!


	2. Hard Beginnings, New Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey i thought sans only used his phone to ask if my fridge was running i feel scammed

To say the car was in bad condition… was an understatement.

For one, the engine and tank were simply tarnished, having rust, rot and holes all over the essential parts, making them unusable. He would need to replace them, but…

...he was out of cash. He used it all to buy the car, get it towed into the garage, and then buy paint… but that was it.

‘i could always bolt together something from stuff in waterfall down in the underground, right…?

wait, no, they clamped down on illegal dumping there a while ago, so anything i find’ll be coated in holes eaten by rust, dang…

hey… hey hold on a minute…’

He thought back to the workshop. The old time machine could power itself through residual magic from the barrier being destroyed and from monsters radiating it throughout the world, but a little work and he could make one the size of an engine to power the car!

‘...might just work. guess i’ll go back and disassemble it.’

After uninstalling the old parts and coating the remaining rust on the underbelly with an MTT DIY rust remover (that he definitely didn’t steal out of Alphys’ old lab), he took a shortcut to his workshop in Snowdin, and went to work…

\---

After three days of non-stop working and answering concerned texts from literally everybody he knew, it was finished.

The Bone-ified Time Machine… Mark II. Ol’ Fluffybuns was definitely rubbing off on him.

‘just gotta pump some magic into this and bolt it into the car… and it’ll be done.’

An intriguing little bit about magical electricity is that intent affected how things it interacted with did, like drive a car. Convenience strikes again, universe.

Though, something gave him food for thought. Why not use the time machine for something.. bigger?

‘hey… lemme try...’

After bolting a modified timeline reader machine onto the car along with the engine, it started to give steady readings for MANY more timelines than he thought was possible for one universe. Now that he thought about it, the timeline reader kind of looks like a car radio, doesn’t it?

‘huh, guess the multiverse theory WAS true… always believed it was bull when the human scientists started slandering the reader for being gibberish. always had to be convenient for them... well, no matter. gotta let everyone know so i don’t look like i disappeared.’

He brought up his phone and started texting in the group chat.

\---

ribtickler4550: guys i finished the taxi, i finally have a job.

StrongFish91: WHAT?! I’m proud of ya Sans, never thought you’d actually get a job 0-0

DETERMINED_Kid: poggers

GoatTee20: This is wonderful news, Sans. You can put whoopie cushions on the seats whenever ]:)

MrAsgoreGuy4: Golly, and here I was thinking you’d never do it. Good job.

COOLSKELETON95: IMPRESSIVE, SANS! ALTHOUGH IT TOOK YOU THREE DAYS, YOU FINALLY HAVE A JOB AND A CAR LIKE YOURS TRULY! I’M SIMPLY DELIGHTED!

ALPHYS: thats good news, sans! i’m sure i wouldn’t’ve done better...

FabulousGlamour90940: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! I would’ve prefered you be my agent, but a taxi driver is just as glamourous.

aflowerz: ok

Napstablook22: *The message seemed to unsend itself, but it was probably encouragement.*

Character118: Hope you don’t fall asleep at the wheel. =)

ribtickler4550: kk, well i’ll go drive around, cya

\---

Really unsettling last message from that Character chum, but he felt much better seeing everybody so jolly and proud.

“well, time to take it for a test teleport.”

He turned the radio knob to a random multiverse that seemed to be named “UNDERSWAP”, and turned the keys.

The taxi revved to life as the garage door automatically opened, revealing the bright outdoors before the machine covered him and the taxi in a blue light, sending him cruising through the void…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowzers!!! let's go!!! 2x
> 
> i hope the original creator of underswap is doing ok right now


	3. New Worlds, Old Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> funny guy meets tall funny guy

Cruising through the 'air' of the Void between timelines and universes in a taxi was… easier than Sans thought. Along the way, he could see thousands of timelines playing out on faraway screens, like stars. He chuckled

“this stuff’s kinda beautiful… oop-”

The taxi started to glow blue again, signaling that it was ready to enter the new universe, and reactivated, teleporting them through to another world.

In the distance, a skeleton-like figure (actually, multiple figures that looked about the same) observed Sans before he teleported.

“Another one." 

\---

Sans jolted when the car slammed into the thin layer of snow, bouncing up from the suspension.

“well… at least those springs weren’t coated with rust and dust…”

He opened the car door and looked around, finding himself in a slightly altered and empty Snowdin.

“huh… interesting. maybe there’s a party...”

Sans appeared to be right in front of Grillby’s... actually, the building seemed to be replaced by a dark purple “Muffet’s” instead.

“well, won’t hurt to find some grub.”

He walked to the door and opened it, expecting a few customers, but…

“didn’t expect there to still be some left-”

Sans was stared down by an alternate Papyrus, wearing a bloody, torn hoodie, smoking and clutching a navy blue scarf in his hand, his face torn between recognition, relief and disbelief all at the same time. Confusion is on both sides.

“uh… hi?”

“...you aren’t blue.”

“well, i can’t use magic all the time, right?”

“nyeh heh heh… very funny. sorry if i’m not so enthusiastic, muffet’s cleaned out her bar, including the honey.”

“well, i dunno what happened since i just got here, but telling from your expression, i’m assuming…”

“yeah.”

Oh shit.

“well, uh… want a monster candy? it’ll heal you right up.”

“thank you.”

Sans teleported onto a seat and handed the alternate Papyrus some candy. After he popped one into his mouth, the bleeding seemed to stop.

“so… how do i make it up to ya for the candy?”

“well… i’m running a taxi service. if you want, i’ll take you somewhere random to take your mind off things.”

“hmm… a taxi. sure. will it go through waterfall?”

“not sure.”

“well, never hurts to try.”

Sans and Papyrus got up from their seats and headed outside to the taxi. Sans got in the drivers seat and fumbled with the “radio” to adjust the coordinates, while Papyrus got in the backseat and put out his cigarette, then put it into a portable ash-tray box.

“let’s go then, i guess. where to?”

“hotland evacuation shelter. gotta let them know that the brat is gone before the CORE blows.”

“didn’t realize it was that bad…”

“yeah.”

Sans started the car up, the engine purring as they drove at a modest speed to Hotland.

…

“seeing the crystals shine out like stars out here is kind of nostalgic for me.”

“why?”

“well, i got here with a time machine built in as an engine, and back in my timeline the barrier was broken, so i got to see some real stars.”

“well… that sounds nice.”

“yeah… speaking of stars, wanna come back to my timeline? sure some of my buds still got room for one more at their places.”

“the timeline’s going to collapse soon regardless, so i don’t see why not.”

“riiiight… well, we’re here.”

‘seems neither of us noticed we were in hotland while we were talking… thank god for that magic intent schtick driving us there.’

Sans and his taller counterpart walked into the NTT resort and went towards the NTT fast food store, meeting what seemed to be Burgerpants’ swapped counterpart, the Nice Cream Guy.

“Why do I always get the fr- ...oh, it’s you two. Is the little freak gone?”

“yup.”

“Well, come on in. Hop over the counter, my boss tried to lock me in here by not providing an opening. The bunker door is in the basement.

“i’ll be waiting out in the taxi. don’t take too long.”

Sans walked out of the resort and sat in the car, browsing through some saved memes and puns.

Thank god for Reddit.

Before long, Papyrus came back, slightly happier than usual. He got in the backseat.

“let’s go to your universe. better than genocide, right?”

“wowzers, that was fast.”

The happiness in Papyrus’ eyesockets rapidly faded.

“huh… you don’t look so good now. something i said?”

Papyrus’ bony brow furrowed and he looked out the window.

“wowzers was blue’s signature catchphrase.”

“ah, sorry bud. well, we’re going now.

Sans turned the key as the entire car glowed blue, teleporting away back to his timeline.

While the Void’s endless star-like screens didn’t have the same impact it did at first on Sans, Papyrus was looking in awe as they drove on a newly formed road in the Void.

“nice view, right?”

“...right.”

“maybe it just popped up, but i don’t remember there being a road in the void…”

...and just like that, the car shimmered with blue light and teleported again, right beside Sans’ house.

“welp, we’re here. 28 g total.”

Papyrus dug through his hoodie and came up with 28 shiny golden coins, placing them into Sans’ skeletal hand, promptly putting them in a box under the “radio”.

Both of them got out and walked through the door.

“by the way, be warned, there’s another papyrus who acts just like your bro, so keep that in mind. mind if i call you US paps?”

“...sure.”

“well, hope you enjoyed the ride. there should be some leftovers in the fridge, but i guess we’ll have to ketchup on tastes, huh?”

“heh, yeah.”

Sans walked back to the car as the second Paps went inside.

No time to celebrate, though, he had a job to do.

Sans adjusted (fumbled with) the coordinates to something called the ALIVE!TALE MULTIVERSE, and turned the key as his car disappeared in a blue light.

Seems this job was more of an adventure than he thought it was going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the confidence i have in myself is slowly increasing


	4. Edgy Skeletons, Rib Tickling Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> funny guy meets edgy funny guy and funnier guy with horns??? pog...

After driving down the Void Highway (which now had streetlights, oddly enough) he teleported into what seemed to be a Snowdin with a new, red paint job, much to the shock of several (angry) citizens, who were pointing at the car. He rolled down his window to be faced with another version of him… actually, two versions of him.

One of them wore a black, fluffy jacket with a red t-shirt and black shorts laced with gold, including an additional golden tooth among the many sharp and pointed ones.

The other had two horns that he swore looked like they were ripped from Asgore forcefully jammed haphazardly into his skull, creating holes in it and cracks that went down to his eyesockets. They also had white swirls for eyes and an MTT backpack.

The crazier looking one spoke first as his grin widened.

“oh boy, a new pal with a new car.”

Something about the way he spoke made Sans really think he was crazy, but before he could think further, the two got in the taxi. He glanced at the mirror to see them.

“nice to meet you two. where we going?”

The red skeleton spoke first.

“underswap.”

Sans seemed confused, but went along with it anyways.

He turned his head to see the crazier skeleton fumbling with the reader.

“why isn’t it playing music? i don’t like it when things don’t work…”

“timeline reader, helps me get to the timeline y’all want. buckle up.”

The skeletons fastened themselves into the seat as Sans turned the key, putting them into the Void.

…

“so, since we’re all the same, got any nicknames?”

The red one spoke first.

“edge, or fell. i put up with it.”

Edge elbowed the crazy skeleton who seemed to be shaking...?

“s-so many papyruses...”

Oh shit. Sans pulled his mirror down to see better. Edge was trying to comfort him.

“yo, bud, you okay? don’t worry, nobody’ll touch you here in the void, too spread out anyways.”

The skeleton stopped shaking, but left his hands on his head. A spacing between his thumb and the rest of the glove opened up to his swirly eye to meet Sans.

“oh boy oh boy hehe oh boy…”

“hahaha! a sans with a taxi… call me insans.”

“heh. punniest name so far for a sans-”

Insans’ expression rapidly snapped from scared and on the verge of a breakdown to angry with red glowering eyes, and a frown.

“no no no don’t call me that. do not call me a fucking sans.”

“woah, you good? sorry, i’ll call you insans from now on.”

Just as suddenly, Insans’ face was smiling again, and his head was tilted.

“let’s be friends. haha, hehe... i like friends.”

Sans felt concern, but nodded.

“alright, we’ll be friends. call me cab sans.”

Cab Sans didn’t question either of them any further, spending the drive mostly in silence, apart from Insans’ constantly saying “oh boy”, “more friends” and giggling to himself.

When they began to teleport, Edge tapped Cab’s shoulder.

“hey, step on the damn gas when we get there, i got a bad feeling about this.”

Cab shrugged.

“well, alright then.”

\---

The gang landed on the surface city of Underswap, but something was wrong, just like Edge had thought…

Buildings were collapsing, falling left and right as a yet another gang of skeletons ran around tearing humans and monsters alike to bits.

They sat in silence for a moment while driving around the city before Edge spoke first.

“...you sure this is the right Underswap, cabbie?”

“yup.”

“...shit.”

Insans spoke, somehow perfectly clear this time while frowning with angry red swirls for eyes.

“this reminds me of when jerry walked into new home… haha, oh boy, he dead. good, i always hated jerry.”

Before either of them could respond, Insans pulled down the window and flipped out onto the roof.

Cab rolled down his own window.

“ay, make sure you don’t dent it.”

“don’t worry, i’d never do that to a friend, haha. unless they were friends with humans, then maybe i would, hehe.”

Cab’s eyesockets narrowed trying to decipher what he meant, but shrugged.

“so, where you guys wanna go now?”

Edge spoke first.

“drive us near the other gang of assholes.”

“so we’re a gang now... nice, what should we be called?”

“just drive, you ass.”

Cab shrugged, but began to drive to the center of the chaos.

As the figures became more clear, they showed more distinct features.

One skeleton was covered in a black, oily substance which seemed to form four tentacles. He had blue lights for eyes, too.

Another had his hood pulled up, with a red light in one eye and purple in the other. The jacket was dusty… 

The last one seemed to have a constantly visible soul shaped like a target, and their eyesockets overflowed with dark liquid.

When the three noticed them, all hell broke loose.

Insans summoned several blasters that seemed to point at himself.

“hey, hey, why are you-”

The beams that fired seemed to change trajectory several times before aiming at the rival skeletons, who swiftly dodged before nearly being pinned by gum-like bones.

“well, okay then.”

Edge tapped Cab’s shoulder.

“hope you can still dodge with a car while being shot at, bud, cause they look like they’re ready for a counterattack.”

Indeed, the skeletons had summoned blasters of their own, including a barrage of sharpened bones.

Cab maneuvered and sped around beams of energy with the grace of an uninsured rental car, turning on the wipers to brush off the dust created by the blasters. He swerved out of the way of the machine gun fire of bones.

A few sharpened bones punctured the roof and doors of the car, barely touching the time machine engine (whether by the properties of magic or it’s own intent, either way) and one even shot through the windshield and into the seat right next to Edge, who promptly jumped in his own seat towards the car door as the bone dissipated into raw magic.

“tibia honest, you looked kinda shocked. doing okay? trust me, i won’t fibula to anybody about this.”

Edge crossed his arms with a slight frown as several drops of sweat formed on his forehead.

“sh-shut up.”

Insans continued to go back and forth with the evil skeletons, firing off blasters and gum bones to block most of the attacks directed at the taxi as Cab drove it around the city, allowing the citizens to evacuate.

It seemed that when the goopy black skeleton noticed the town was empty, he called to his gang, and promptly left.

Insans flipped back into the car backseat through the window.

“hahahahehe, oh boy, that was fun. where do we go next, friends?”

Cab glanced at Edge, who pointed at Insans. Why must you cast off your duty, o’ edgy skeleton?

“oh boy… decisions… i don’t like those. cab friend, let’s go to your universe!”

While Sans wasn’t sure if Insans was going to kill somebody or not, he nodded. Insans celebrated and pumped his arms in the air.

“well, we’re goin now. just… promise you won’t kill anybody.”

“wow, friend, i’m so hurt, hahaha! don’t worry…”

Insans’ eyesockets narrowed.

“unless your friends are human, i won’t touch em.”

Wow, this guy really has a grudge. Sans paused before turning the key.

“well, i have a human friend, so unless you wanna lose your new friend i suggest you don’t do anything rash.”

Insans frowned, but his eyes returned to a normal white.

“oh boy, hehehe… okay then. just don’t let me find them.”

Sans’ eyesocket was twitching slightly in concern for what would happen when he got back, but he turned the key.

The taxi was covered in a blue light, teleporting to the Void Highway. This time, it had formed goopy trees with white leaves and black bark, along with grey goop that probably could pass as dirt… if the viewer was blind.

“so, while we’re driving, care to tell me some cool stories y’all have picked up? i don’t need a life story.”

Insans shrugged, then spoke.

“well, i have these really cool friends including you and edge, but there’s also an alphys, and a mettaton with a multiversal tv show… hahaha, oh boy, i love to sing with mettaton there. the events are all great, even if i can’t look at the vip tables because there’s a human there. the 2021 countdown was the best.”

That was a lot of information to process for Sans.

“well, that’s pretty nice. would love’ta meet em one day.”

“hahaha, oh boy. i’ll introduce you later, hehe.”

“thanks. what about you, fell?”

Edge groaned and held a skeletal hand to his face, pinching his nose.

“it’s a really shitty story, be warned.”

“any story is good on a suspicious highway that seems to evolve every time i drive on it.

“...ok. me and the boss organized a party for the underground when our oh-so-wonderful overlord was, uh, tamed. toriel came with these little boxes of do-it-yourself food, like mini pizzas. but…”

“but what?”

Edge sweat rapidly.

“...when tori drank an entire barrel of wine, she… started to throw the mini pizzas like ninja stars.”

“oh wow.”

“...and… they were sharp. as in, tori’s drunken magic influenced the magical food so much they cut through the fucken walls and dropped outside. one of them nearly killed me.”

“oh wow.”

“oh wow is right. the fucking overlord himself backed away so tori wouldn’t see him through her drunken partying. when she passed out we just dropped her in the shed with a blanket.”

Cab didn’t know whether to feel concern for what would happen when his Tori and Edge’s Tori met, or to laugh so hard he would drive off the highway.

“that’s an incredible story. the tori over in my universe drank three glasses and threw them like frisbees during a winter party.”

“heh.”

Apart from Insans’ constant giggling, the drive was spent in silence yet again until they began to teleport.

\---

The cab landed on the driveway with a quiet thud. He opened the garage door and drove in, noting that the lights were off. Insans was continually saying “oh boy” while Edge started to sweat.

Suddenly, the lights turned on, revealing all of his friends and family with party hats, balloons and a cake with the words “Congratulations on your new job Sans!”

“SURPRISE!”

His family and friends ran over to the taxi to celebrate and pull Sans out, but…

They fell into a silence when they realized there were three Sanses in a taxi riddled with holes. Sans suddenly turned to the two skeletons.

“63 g for the fare, guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alive!tale is owned by kaoru okino
> 
> https://tatatale.tumblr.com/post/639157857795915776/season-1-part-1-part-2-part-3-ask-1-2-3
> 
> here's the link to their cool comic
> 
> i can't remember their gender???
> 
> underswap and underfell are deemed community content by the fandom, but...
> 
> underfell is owned by vic the underfella https://underfell.tumblr.com/
> 
> dunno if the original creator of underswap like changed their name but the tumblr link is here https://p0pcornpr1nce.tumblr.com/


	5. Family Introductions, New Anime Geeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> skeleton man: homecoming

“SANS! YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU HAD TWO DOPPELGANGERS! I HAVE ONE TOO!”

“i guess i’m such a sansational guy that it rubbed off on these guys even though they’re from different universes, eh?”

Toriel looked like she was going to explode with excitement. I’d say that’s justified, considering she’ll have several more sources of puns now.

Before either Papyrus or Cab Sans could talk more, Undyne grabbed Cab Sans by the head and gently sat him down on the table with the grace of dropping a squeaky toy on an INSURED rental car.

“So.”

“so.”

“WHY THE HELL ARE THERE TWO COPIES OF YOU?!”

“uh… i-uh… so basically, have you ever decided to use store-bought spaghetti noodles instead of homemade?”

Undyne narrowed her eyes, remembering the time she burnt down her old house (again). 

“Yeah, why?”

“well, in another timeline, you used homemade. now imagine that relatively insignificant change, and layer it upon thousands of timelines. you have a universe neatly packed in it’s own little bubble.”

Sans got off the table and walked over to Edge.

“but in other universes, there’s a little bit of a BIGGER change. for instance, this guy is me, but really edgy because the king there was slightly less nice.”

Edge had the face of somebody who stepped on a thousand whoopie cushions in one day. Tiredness, irritation and the classic “why do i have to deal with your shit”.

“so, if there’s a lot of universes in one place all together, that makes a multiverse. i literally proved multiverse theory with a taxi.”

Everybody except Alphys and the other Sanses took a moment to take in the information. Alphys was the first to speak.

“H-honestly Sans, I never t-thought you’d actually, well… do all this for a taxi.”

“well, let’s look on the bright side. i have a job, just founded the business of multiverse tourism, and proved there are other universes. granted, somebody else probably knew before me, but who cares? i don’t.”

Undyne put her hands on Sans’ shoulders with a deadpan look.

“So… this means there’s infinite anime?

Really? That’s what she wanted to know?

“uh, yeah.”

“Alphys. You know what we gotta do?”

Both of them smiled smugly.

“Yeah!”

The two walked gracefully in sync towards the taxi, and got in.

“woah there guys i still gotta fix the body and all that, nearly got killed driving-”

Sans pointed with his thumb to the other two skeletons, who were socializing with Toriel, Mettaton, and the kid. Asgore seemed to sit in the corner and sulk. Sans already went over with him about the fact Sans literally has no interest in a relationship with anybody and that Asgore still has a chance, but I guess it stuck with him.

“-those two numbskulls around a city narrowly dodging attacks from other skeletons. so i gotta fix it. actually, wait, let me try something.”

Malleable bones were never Sans’ strong suit, but perhaps he could use bones as a substitute…

Eventually, it worked. Besides the white spots revealing the bone that replaced the metal body (which he would eventually paint over) the taxi was good as new.

“well, i guess we can go now. hey, edge, do you need any help going back home?”

Edge shook his head.

“insans can teleport.”

Cab narrowed his eyesockets, asking himself why they actually got in the taxi. I guess they like new friends.

“oooookay then. you two ready?”

Undyne nodded with a big grin. Sans could only assume Alphys’ meant yes when they began to vibrate uncontrollably.

“...anime.”

Cab waved to his friends, who were disappointed he couldn’t stay long, but nonetheless happy about his new job and his newfound determination.

“welp, let’s go.”

Sans spun the knobs on the reader randomly, adjusting the coordinates to Aftertale, whatever that was, and turned the key as the telltale blue glow of teleportation covered the car, leaving towards the Void Highway.


	6. A Fish, A Lizard, and A Skeleton Walk Into A Main Menu...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's something fishy about the new skeletons they met, but any anime geek will go starry-eyed when they see their doppelgangers equipped with a collection of anime

Alphys and Undyne watched in awe at the star-like screens, not too far from the look US Papyrus had. Sans chuckled to himself as they traveled down the Void Highway.

The Void Highway seemed to have developed even more while they were gone. While it looked cracked and uneven before, it was freshly paved now. All Sans could ask himself was ‘who keeps doing this for a taxi?’

The blue glow surrounded the taxi yet again, teleporting them into the Aftertale AU.

At least, that’s what they thought was going to happen. Instead, the taxi teleported into another part of the Void, onto a patch of grass with a thud.

“well, we’re probably here, wherever the hell here is.”

Alphys shuddered.

“I-I don’t like where this is going.”

“i’ll get out to check if anybody else is here.”

Sans got out of the taxi and walked forward, before stopping suddenly. A figure very similar to Sans, but with a white coat, a glitchy, floating patch of whiteness over one eyesocket, and a bleeding wound that went from shoulder to waist.

“heh, would love to say it’s like looking in a mirror, but uh… i don’t have a taxi.”

“patella me all about it.”

The other skeleton’s grin widened.

“heh, still funny. so, what brings you three here?”

“al and undyne wanted to buy anime, but uh… doesn’t look like there’s any here.”

“...cool. well, i suggest going somewhere else. this place isn’t looking real great right now.”

“how so?”

“well, the usual. genocidal maniac running around killing our brother while i get to sit here perpetually dying.”

Cab winced from the response.

“ouch. well, know anywhere i can go for anime?”

“not that i know of. you three are the first from other universes i’ve seen. i knew they existed, but never had proof of the stuff to show to others.”

“okay, we’ll just get going.”

Sans spun around to walk back to the taxi with his eyesockets closed.

“hey, wait.”

Sans opened his right eyesocket, still looking at the taxi.

“yeah?”

“listen, can you uh… kill the genocidal maniac running around killing our brother while i get to sit here perpetually dying?”

“...sure. let me just uh, drop these two off somewhere they actually want. i’ll come back, chum.”

“...ok.”

Sans walked back to the taxi. Undyne popped out of the window.

“So, another Sans?”

After getting in the car, he answered.

“yup. apparently, he wants me to kill some demon child. so i’m gonna drop you off somewhere that doesn’t contain something that’s probably going to kill us all. ‘kay?”

Undyne threw her hands into the air.

“Really? Come on Sans, we both know you put more effort into being lazy than anything else. Just look at the taxi. I’ll kill the thing, we’ll all go buy some anime and be happy.”

“well, i don’t wanna rain on your parade, but…”

“you’ll die.”

The other Sans was at the window, with hollow eyesockets.

“Oh, you don’t know that. IF I CAN SUPLEX A BOULDER, I CAN SUPLEX A CHILD! I bench pressed seven!”

“undyne, put two and two together, please. if he has a gaping wound like that across his chest, that can only mean one thing, if i put so much effort into being lazy…”

“Well? What’s that, funnybones?”

The other skeleton twitched as Sans’ eyesockets went dark.

“it means he had to step in when you dusted, and failed.”

Undyne seemed to shrink at that. Alphys spoke up before she could insist further.

“Undyne, please. We only came to buy anime, alright? I don’t want to… to lose you because you insisted on doing something like this.”

“...fine, Al.”

Sans smirked, and looked towards the odd one out.

“well, what’s your name for the record, pun pal?”

“heh, call me geno.”

“okay geno, how about you come with these two to buy anime?”

“uh, i’ll die.”

“not if you have monster candy.”

Sans tossed a monster candy into Geno’s hands.

“wait. wait hold on a fucking minute. i could’ve gotten out at any time if somebody teleported me some monster candy?”

“...yup.”

“holy shit i am stupid.”

“well, you fought a demon child who massacred a third of the underground, can’t say it doesn’t run in the genome, if you will.”

“heh. better not patella that to pap in front of somebody.”

Geno got in the front passenger seat of the taxi.

“ready when you are, cabbie.”

“you know, i always wanted a nickname when i found all these alternate universes. cab and cabbie are my best bets, i guess. well, let’s go.”

Sans adjusted the coordinates to something that sounded more “comfortable”. Of course, none of them did, but others sounded better.

‘horrortale… no, definitely not. underlust… what the fuck is that? no, get that out of my face… here we are. outertale.’

Sans locked in the coordinates and turned the key, teleporting them back onto the Void Highway to adjust for entry. 

While the effect of the screen stars was lessened, everybody in the vehicle still admired them.

“man, imagine how much more friendly the void would be if there were more people with taxis like mine.”

Undyne showed her signature grin.

“Hah, I bet I can run faster than a taxi!”

“well, if you can run into a storm head first, i’m sure you’ll outrun a taxi. say, geno, when you heal up and everything’s done, why not be a cabbie like me?”

“eh, dunno. it looks appealing, but i might have to put a cab on it eventually if i ever take the job. uncertain future, y’know?”

“well, the offer’s always up. i still have some blueprints for the time machine.”

The taxi covered itself in a blue glow and teleported to Outertale.

\---

While Sans waited for a thud onto the ground, none came. Instead, all they heard was the suspension creaking slightly, mostly from disuse.

“that’s new. wait, geno, eat the candy.”

Geno fumbled with the wrapper quickly as he began to dust, panic visibly showing in his perpetual shit-eating grin. After popping the candy into his… uh, teeth, his wound stopped bleeding blood and dust as the glitches in his right eyesocket faded, to reveal a partially healed eyesocket that still looked melted.

Sans fell back into his seat

“thank asgore. welcome aboard the living club, geno. we’ll clean off the dust later.”

“i appreciate it. so, where are we cabbie?”

Sans looked around, quickly becoming shocked at their surroundings.

They were in space, on top of an asteroid with no light pollution or atmosphere to block out the multitude of brilliantly shining stars. One was azure blue, the other a bright red…

Now wasn’t the time to get caught up in the sight. They had to look for anime.

As he looked down around where the taxi was, he found that they were in a gray forest of some kind. The pine trees were, despite being in space, a familiar dark green. Most of the forest seemed to be covered in a grayish snow from freezing water around asteroid dust. The weeds that did sprout out from the snow were shaped like stars.

“well, there’s trees here. if they aren’t dead, there’s people nearby, and where there’s people…”

Alphys and Undyne shouted in unison.

“THERE’S ANIME!”

The two giggled to each other. Sans smirked, and got out of the car before being thrown into the trees by a strong gust of air. His pink slippers were lodged in the ground.

“it seems i was pressured to leave the vehicle, huh?”

The other three were also lodged in trees, too stunned to say anything…

...but they could groan.

Sans hopped down from the tree with a soft thud to put on his slippers, and walked over to the taxi, promptly locking it to drive back later.

“actually, hold on… undyne, can i ask you something?”

Undyne had to pull a branch out of her face to speak. 

“What, Sans?” ...followed by a loud groan.

“if there’s less gravity here, then technically you could carry a car, right? you’d get to brag about it. much better than bench pressing seven kids.”

The aquatic monster leaped out of the tree and landed with a thud despite the lowered gravity, jittering about with the expression of a warrior.

“I’m in.”

Undyne grabbed the taxi and set it on her shoulder.

“wait, wait lemme take a picture.”

Sans pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of Undyne carrying the taxi as their warrior-like expression quickly deflated to a deadpan one.

“Well, are you excited, Al? We’re gonna find all sorts of space mecha anime!”

“YES.”

Both of them were shaking uncontrollably with excitement so much, Sans couldn’t help but chuckle as Geno woke up from his involuntary nap and leaped down the tree.

“welp, let’s get walking cabbie.”

“i’m starting to think you want to wear that name down.”

“i do.”

The four began to tread through the forest, noting the strange looks from other monsters, who seemed to be majorly space themed, with stars, yellow, and blue being the basis of their being. One of them had a frozen piece of ice from an asteroid as a hat. After a short amount of time, they met something familiar, besides the trees.

A bridge, “blocked” by four all-too-wide bars, obviously made by Papyrus in an attempt to stop people from going through.

“so, guess i gotta throw the car over, huh?”

Before any of them could go further, a bone-chilling voice sent shivers up their spines. They barely glanced behind them to see a short figure concealed by seemingly out-of-place shadows.

“Heya.”

“So, I’ve got a question for ya.”

…

They waited in anticipation as the darkness subsided, to reveal… another Sans, dressed with a fluffy blue jacket that had yellow stripes, sleeves, and blue shorts with yellow stripes to match. His fluffy slippers had glittery stars and other cosmic objects glued on, too. On a more important note, he didn’t have a shit-eating grin, more of a casual smirk.

“why aren'tcha shakin my hand? i mean, the stars must have aligned for me to meet two other versions of me like this.”

“...heh, stars, man, didn’t expect to get sneaked up on like that, sorry.”

“well, can’t say i blame you. so, what do ya four need here?”

“well, al and undyne want to find cool anime, and i thought this might be a good place to stop by. say, do you have some kinda nickname or anything? gets kind of confusing. i call the white jacket sans geno, cause, well… moving on, i’m just called cabbie.”

“...nice to meet ya, cabbie and geno. i don’t remember any of the nicknames i had in the past, was really only me for a while when the other guy took a break for a while. how about stars?”

“works for me. what do you mean others?”

Stars looked towards the dark cosmos, filled with stars of yellow, blue, and red that illuminated the gas clouds, creating a beautiful view of the galaxies in the sky.

“oh, the supposed destroyer of alternate universes comes by every now and again for the view. can’t say i blame him, we get all the light we need from the cosmos above, so there’s no light pollution to block ‘em out. it’s beautiful.”

The rest of the gang looked in the same direction, most of them smirking or grinning.

“welp, enough star gazing, let’s go find some anime. i know al has some that she could copy. why not take a walk instead of a shortcut?”

“eh, ain’t got much else to do. so, who wants to do stars’ idea?”

Everybody in the group raised their hands, or hand in Undyne’s case.

“okay then. lead the way stars. by the way, what’s the forest called?”

Stars chuckled as Undyne tossed the taxi and dashed over the bridge to catch it on the other side. With some difficulty, she held out a thumbs up to signal the vehicle was a’ok.

“stardin forest.”

Sans chuckled at the name as they walked on the snowy path to the town.

“heh, not too far from snowdin forest.”

Stars groaned, oddly enough.

“man, think of how many puns and jokes we could have made with that one, dude.”

“aw, yeah i know the feeling…”

Cabbie and Stars humored each other with puns and jokes of a similar caliber. Alphys and Undyne chatted with each other about all the cool anime they would find, while Geno spent the entire walk in silence, admiring the display of the cosmos.

After walking through the forest, they met Stars’ version of Papyrus, his “battle body” painted with a gradient between dark blue to navy blue, creating a visual effect that made it seem like it was made out of, well, space, illuminated by the stars. It was pretty, but nonetheless, they had places to go, anime to nab, and so they tread on, through Stardin Town, earning looks from the curious or outright confused. They took a moment to look around the town. Flying lanterns filled the air providing a soft warm glow against the cold, distant stars above.

“pretty, ain’t it?”

“yeah, heh. you weren’t kidding when you said the folk here sure like space, huh, stars?

“yup. say, while we’re here, why not interact with the folk? they don’t see many new people, much less familiar people with unfamiliar clothes.”

“i don’t see why not. al, undyne, how about you go and see if there’s any anime around here, while we go check aurorafall?”

“Works for me. C’mon Al, let’s go find some anime!”

“Coming, Undyne!”

The gang of skeletons chuckled. Cabbie suddenly spoke.

“wait, how’s undyne going to buy anime with the taxi still in her arm?”

Geno chuckled.

“i dunno, thinking about it tires me out.”

After a good laugh, Stars led the skeleton gang to Aurorafall, and it was no doubt beautiful. A brilliant green wall of light covered most of the cavern within the meteor, heating the ice within, allowing for water to rain down and pelt the skeletons. They wen to stop at a bench so Cabbie could text Al and Undyne to ask if they found any anime.

Oddly enough, somebody, a skeleton with features resembling a teenager was already there at the bench, wearing a generic Outertale-style formal outfit with a blue-indigo gradient vest that had stars for buttons and a white dress shirt, additionally wearing purple-indigo gradient sweatpants to match, though the forest camouflage boots didn’t seem to be intended to match up with the rest of the outfit. Their eyesockets drooped to the point they resembled ovals more than circles, and they had horns that curled once and then directed forwards, like a ram.

As of now, the teen seemed to have an unlit cigarette in their mouth, trying to light it by snapping their fingers. Miraculously, after three tries, the cigarette became lit, after which he finally turned to the gang of skeletons with a wide smirk.

“well well well, guess which skeleton gang showed up, eh? bench’s got enough room everybody, hop on.”

The three weren’t sure if they could trust him, but sat down regardless.

“so, who are y’all? don’t find many coming to visit outertale anymore.”

Stars stepped forward first to introduce the gang to the new skeleton.

“...my name is stars. The blue jacket guy is cabbie, and the white jacket guy is geno.”

“...weird nicknames, but okay, whatever then. shit, lemme think of a nickname…”

Cabbie pulled out his phone to text the couple in case they actually found any anime yet. The new face kept snapping his fingers as if it helped him think.

\---

ribtickler4550: you guys got the anime yet?

StrongFish91: Nope… Al says hi, but you should get over here. We’ll go to, well, whatever they named this version of Hotland.

ribtickler4550: kk, lemme ask stars wut hotland is called here and we’ll come getcha

\---

“yo, stars, what’s hotland called here?”

“we don’t really have that here. no volcano to sap energy from and no electronics we really needed more juice for since most of the homes have solar power.”

“huh. cool. so what was there in place of a core?”

“the old royal scientist built a massive automated mining facility that calculated the trajectory of asteroids and redirected them towards others for a domino effect. when they were all knocked out of orbit the machine harvests them, smelts them, everything. the entire process was contained inside that machine to suit our needs. kind of incredible.”

“that’s actually pretty interesting. i’ll read on it later when we have time. what’s the area called?”

“well, nebulaland. not too imaginative, i know, but our fluffy king was definitely trying when he read the definition of nebula in a book. it’s where we get most of our asteroids from.”

Abruptly, the unnamed skeleton sat up and brushed the cigarette ashes off them.

“well, i’ve decided. name’s smokes, nice to meet y’all. mind if i come along for the ride?”

“sure, dunno where you’ll be riding though. we have a taxi.”

“...funny. i wrote a fanfiction about a sans with a taxi, with the advice of alphys. it was a trainwreck.”

Cabbie shifted away from Smokes.

“ok.”

“yeah, i know, sounds like something an edgy 4th wall breaking OC written by a way too tired teen would say. anyways, i’m fine sitting in the trunk..”

The gang stared at him for a while, but moved forward, with Smokes close behind.

“so, where are you guys headed?”

“long story short, alphys and undyne wanted anime, i found geno sitting in the void, we went to this AU, now we’re gonna go back to kill a demon child. sound fun?”

“...well, my life’s been otherwise boring, so hell yeah, i’m in.”

“welcome aboard, smokes.”

*Smokes joined the party!

“yo, guys, shouldn’t we shortcut?”

“smokes, got it all wrong. you wanna take a shortcut, do this.”

Stars used blue magic on himself, his stardust soul shining a bright blue as he pushed the ground with his legs, sending them flying forward in the air. When they lost their momentum, they still stayed floating in the air.

Needless to say, the rest of the gang was floating through the air by the time they reached Stardin, with Al and Undyne eagerly waiting. Smokes leaned towards Cabbie.

“yo, should the fish be carrying a damn car on one shoulder, or am i seeing things?”

“you ain’t dreaming smokes, that’s just the lowered gravity. she can benchpress seven kids.”

The gang joined up with Al and Undyne, who were in awe at the gang’s floating trick. 

“I wanna float like you guys! Wait, who’s this guy?”

Undyne pointed at Smokes.

“i’m smokes. on-the-spot nickname. also, can’t you fly on your spears?”

As if on cue, a floating board made from Undyne’s spears manifested as Undyne herself leaped onto it, car and Alphys in tow. The gang, including Undyne and Al, all chuckled as they flew forward to Nebulaland.

Most notably, a monster sat at the entrance to Aurorafall, saying something like “...you should get out of here.”

While they were walking on a bridge in Aurorafall, Smokes spoke up, looking at the taxi that Undyne was carrying.

“so, what’s the taxi’s name?”

Cabbie looked at him with confusion.

“it’s just a taxi, i’m too lazy to name it.”

Smokes chuckled while trying to light a cigar he pulled out of his hoodie. After snapping his fingers on it twice, it lit up. He continued talking.

“screw that, if you ain’t gonna name it i will. i’ll think of somethin’ when we get to nebulaland.”

Geno laughed.

“you put a lotta effort into things other than being lazy for somebody who looks worse than us. where’d you get a cigar, anyways?”

“eh, dunno. it says cuban on it but i don’t really care, if i can smoke it i’ll do so.”

Right after Smokes said that, a navy blue spear with a shining golden star for a guard sliced through the cigar he had just lit, dropping into the abyss below, slowly. 

Cabbie was the first one to speak.

“guess it’s time we start running for the first time in our lives, huh?”

The skeletons boosted themselves through the air with telekinesis while Undyne leaped from one spear board to another all while Alphys screamed, taxi in one arm, dodging barrages of spears from above, below, and to the sides. 

Geno randomly threw bones at the shadows on the cavern walls in an attempt to provide cover fire while they ran away. Alas, it didn’t work.

As they entered another cave to find cover, another Undyne with navy blue to purple gradient colored armor leaped from the cavern walls and landed on the bridge with a thud, dashing towards them from close behind.

The gang slammed into a dead end wall, gathering into a pile on top of the car that Cabbie Undyne dropped when they tripped. When Cabbie looked up, at the top of the pile, it seemed that it would be their end, death to angry fish lady…

...until she started laughing. The spear that she held disintegrated as she took off her helmet, revealing the true Outertale Undyne.

Of course, they looked virtually identical to Cabbie Undyne, but the armor was not. Upon a closer look, it’s actually much more thorough in user protection than the original.

The shoulder pads were shaped like up-facing stars with two points bent downwards to cover the ends of the laminar armor protecting the arms, made with several short overlapping plates for flexibility. The breastplate was also styled with a navy-purple gradient star, serving as a transition to the faulds, which were painted with stars and constellations of many colors, so that scratches would look like shooting stars.

Noticing their stares, the new Undyne struck a heroic pose, but that only brought them back to attention. Smokes was the first to speak, despite rolling off the top of the pile.

“so, not gonna kill us then?”

“Ha, why? I came here for the other me! We could suplex boulders together! You guys were just in for the ride.”

“no offense but it really isn’t cool to scare us like that, i mean i saved this-”

Smokes pulled out a machete from under his vest and let it drop to the floor with a clatter.

“-for a situation that involved being cornered, and i can’t make my jokes with it. today is a sad day.”

The new Undyne stared at Smokes for a second before he stashed the machete again.

“also, you owe me a cigar.”

“Smoking poisons a warrior’s soul.”

“okay, okay, i’m sorry. don’t shake me down for cigarettes, it’s damp out here.”

Undyne stared with a new look teetering between annoyance and disappointment, but looked back at the rest of the gang in the pile. Most of them were stunned… until Undyne summoned a dull spear, then they immediately got themselves together, rolling off the taxi and onto the ground with numerous thuds, including one from Cabbie Undyne. Outertale Undyne shook Cabbie Undyne’s shoulders vigorously when she got up.

“We. Must. Suplex. Boulders. TOGETHER!”

Outertale Undyne stepped back when she realized Cabbie Undyne was shaken up even more. When Cabbie Undyne snapped back into reality, she said one sentence, in unison with the Alphys that was still on the floor.

“...anime.”

Outertale Undyne nodded, picking up the taxi with one arm with a grin.

“Well, I’m not gonna question anime, right?”

Alphys got up with a determined look on her face. The skeletons got up shakily, disoriented by the nap they took spontaneously upon hitting the damp ground.

“...never.”

...and so, they continued walking to Nebulaland. The expanding gang was garnering more attention than they would like, though.

After making a bit of small talk during the walk, they arrived at Nebulaland, and like the name suggested, it was much brighter, but the visible residue from the nearby star made it look even more beautiful than it already was, like a glittery cloud.

After going to the crossroads, Smoke talked to the rest of the crew while beginning to divert from the main path.

“yo, guys, i think i see my coat over there…”

Stars looked in mock surprise at Smokes.

“wait, you mean that wasn’t your coat?”

“hell no, this one’s too thin. just a vest.”

Smokes jogged (at a slower pace than most would) towards what he thought was his coat, dumped onto the dirt-covered rocks. After grabbing it and dusting it off, he put it on, and walked back.

It seemed to be a double-breasted gunmetal black trenchcoat with eight buttons shaped like golden stars in four sets, one button unfastened. Additionally, he wore a yellow, star shaped tie, tucked under his vest.

Smokes then jogged back into formation with the gang, who were in front of the LAB door.

When they entered, all of the lights seemed to be off, until a familiar lizard wearing a lab coat with navy blue buttons, sleeve cuffs, and lapels (with a star on each) appeared from a door. When they turned to the gang, their expression immediately registered as shock and started spinning around in panic.

“Oh. My. God. There’s so many people hereandI’mbarelydressedohmygod-”

Cabbie Alphys stepped out of the crowd with a bundle of anime she gathered for bartering.

“Do you have any anime to trade?”

Outertale Alphys narrowed her eyes while shaking slightly.

“...yes.”

\---

After a while of anime trading and reviews, both versions of Alphys and Undyne shook hands, and went their separate ways (not before Outertale Undyne set down the taxi in front of the LAB). Cabbie Undyne and Alphys walked to the taxi with the rest of the gang.

Cabbie Sans got in the driver seat, Geno in the front passenger seat, while Outertale sat in the back with Undyne and Alphys. Smokes opened the empty trunk, and got in. When he closed the trunk, Cabbie spoke first.

“so, aftertale, right?”

Geno nodded.

“yup, but let’s drop undyne and alphys off first.”

Sans adjusted the coordinates back to his own timeline and turned the key, beginning their teleportation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> outertale is owned by mimi pippinski at here https://mimipippin.tumblr.com/tagged/outertale
> 
> aftertale is owned by CrayonQueen here https://loverofpiggies.tumblr.com/tagged/Aftertalecomic/chrono
> 
> new oc???? pog....
> 
> long chapter because it's right after the fifth


	7. Dunkle Sans Gets Political?!!??!?!?!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dunkle gets political?! nooo sans don't get political please

Stars wasn’t too surprised to see the faraway screens, after all they couldn’t really hold a candle to the ones back in Outertale. The ride was spent mostly in silence until Smokes knocked from inside the trunk. It wasn’t soundproofed, so he could still speak.

“hey, i thought of a name for your taxi and the business itself. wanna hear it? fair warning, it’s pretty shitty.”

Cabbie glanced towards the space behind the back seats.

“sure, why not?”

“okay, three, two, one…”

Cabbie (and a few passengers) waited in anticipation.

“the wheely cool taxi, from the sansational multiversal taxi service. sound good?”

All of the Sanses in the taxi chuckled. Cabbie nodded with an even wider grin than he had before.

“yeah, it’s pretty cool.”

The taxi teleported back into Cabbie’s timeline.

\---

The taxi landed with a soft thud on what seemed to be grass of some kind.

Cabbie, believing he was simply on a roadside near his home, got out of the taxi and looked around. What he saw shocked him, and pretty much everybody else in the taxi.

It was an ocean of spectators for what seemed to be a political conference, and Frisk was at the stand with their translator, probably signing to the translator until the taxi dropped in on the same platform that Frisk and the politicians were standing on.

Smokes popped his head out from the trunk. His appearance notably shocked some of the spectators, and even the politicians waiting to speak.

“hey, cabbie, i think we should get the hell out of here.”

“agreed.”

Smokes closed the trunk while Cabbie slowly backed up to the taxi, sitting back in and turning the key again as the politicians, Frisk, and spectators watched in stunned silence.

The taxi softly glowed blue and teleported, leaving nothing but a bit of asteroid dust.

Frisk starting signing again after reorganizing the papers they had to read. The translator spoke.

“Anyways, regarding monster businesses, being born on U.S soil dictates…”

\---

Everybody breathed a sigh of relief when they landed in front of Alphys’ and Undyne’s shared home. The roof was shaped like Undyne’s old house, and the ground floor was shaped like Alphys’, to make space for the entrance to the basement. It looked cute.

“welp, we’re here. now, the fare was going to be around a hundred to two hundred g…”

Undyne and Alphys groaned.

“since you two are pals with my bro, i’ll waive it.”

“Thanks, Sans!”

Undyne made her famously toothy grin as she and Alphys got out of the taxi, walking into their home with a bundle of new anime.

Smokes popped out from the trunk.

“so, can i sit in the back seat?”

Cabbie nodded.

“nice.”

Smokes closed the trunk and got in the backseat. When he fastened his seatbelt, Cabbie adjusted the coordinates to Aftertale and turned the key again.

\---

Time passed fast during their drive through the Void Highway, which now had exits that led to odd wooden doors, and small road signs.

Oddly enough, Smokes’ outfit except for his dress shirt and trench coat seemed to change color from a blue-indigo to a grey-white gradient. The color of the star buttons changed to red.

The rest of the gang looked in confusion. Cabbie looked at him with the mirror.

“does it always change color like that?”

Smokes pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a spark he somehow created by snapping his fingers.

“what, my vest and all that? yeah. it doesn’t change in classic timelines like yours, though. timelines like these are catalysts for other AUs.”

“...ok. welp, we have a job to do, right geno?”

“yup. i’m betting the kid’s at hotland or something.”

Cabbie locked the taxi after everybody had gotten out. Stars was hunched forward. Gravity sucks.

Geno manifested what seemed to be a miniaturized version of the Void Highway’s screens, viewing his timeline with a look of shock on his face.

“what the hell? what happened while i was gone?”

Cabbie’s non-existent eyebrows raised.

“somethin’ wrong?”

“there’s nobody here. no dust, no kid in the judgement halls, just… nothing.”

“try the surface.”

“don’t joke around like that, i know what they’re-”

The screen changed to view the surface. Geno’s buddies, Undyne, Toriel, everybody was there, watching the sunrise.

Including the kid, and the other Sans he had tried so desperately to persuade. Smokes chuckled after he finished his cigarette and brushed off the ashes.

“all that damn buildup for nothing… i was saving a few sharp jokes for later but i guess it isn’t a knife time for it now.”

Stars shrugged.

“well, look on the bright side, geno. no more murdering people, everybody’s happy. go join ‘em.”

“i wasn’t there for them during the worst time possible, how would i join them like that?”

Cabbie patted Geno on the back.

“eh, all up in the air at this point. don’t worry, we’ll be there with ya. nobody’s gonna steal our taxi.”

Geno clutched Papyrus’ scarf, but let go and winked, signaling a pun.

“eh, you’re right. but don’t patella a soul about what happened while you guys are there, alright? just… sit in the bushes behind them or something, i dunno.”

“will do.”

Geno snapped his fingers, bringing them inside the timeline.

\---

Needless to say, the mountain evidently did not have many flat surfaces. When the gang landed behind the bushes, only Stars was prepared for the incline, grabbing everybody except Geno with his telekinesis.

Geno rolled down right next to the other Aftertale Sans, flopping on the ground face first in front of everybody. Rather than back away slowly, the other Sans held out a hand to Geno, and helped him up.

The gang couldn’t hear their conversation, but it would seem that it went well. As the monsters walked down the mountain, Geno turned to the bushes where we were, and his grin widened.

He snapped his fingers, sending the three back to the patch of grass where their taxi stood idly.

“well, let’s go. stars, you wanna go back to your au, right?”

Stars shrugged.

“eh, i’m sure your timeline is more interesting. besides, i haven’t felt raindrops hit my skull or feel the sun on my face. the stars are beautiful, but i kind of like earth.”

“well, i have some buds at my place. they’re… interesting. you’ll see when we get there. smokes, you coming too? we have space. and i mean lots of space.”

Smokes shrugged.

“i just wander around, so it’ll be nice to have a place to stay for a while. thanks.”

“...well then. let’s go.”

After getting back in the taxi, Cabbie turned the key, teleporting back onto the Void Highway.

Oddly enough, the wooden doors on each exit were replaced by tunnels.

\---

The taxi landed on the garage lift as the noise emitted from the engine died down.

Everybody got out the taxi and walked through the door into Cabbie’s home, met by Insans and Edge on the couch watching what appeared to be one of the multiversal MTT broadcasts Insans was talking about. US!Papyrus watched them come in from the second floor, and waved. When Insans and Edge noticed, they also waved, though Edge barely let his hand stay raised for half a second before it dropped.

“hahaha oh boy oh boy, more friends! this is a good day today.”

Edge scoffed.

“whatever you say, man.”

Smokes pulled out a cigarette from his vest under the trenchcoat, lighting it with a snap of his phalanges.

“...charming. so, do we like draw straws for rooms?”

Cabbie looked at the second floor. Out of the eight rooms that were there, three remained empty, with the rest having signs of varying fonts and sizes hanging over them.

“just pick one that doesn’t have a sign.”

“wilco, cabbie. thanks.”

Smokes walked up the stairs and applied a smoking zone sign, then walked in and closed the door behind him. Quite humerus.

“no problem. stars, you-”

It seemed Stars already knew what to do, scribbling his nickname onto a sheet of paper and lazily slapping it onto a random room with a bit of tape. 

Stars then floated over to US!Papyrus (who was still processing the fact this new sans could float) and started to chat with him. Though Cabbie couldn’t hear, the conversation seemed to go well, and Stars floated back into his new room.

Cabbie chuckled, and walked up the stairs to his own room whilst waving to Insans and Edge. He then flopped on the dirty mattress he shortcutted from the Underground and started snoring.

Not surprising that he was bone-tired, considering he walked through the entirety of the Underground (space edition) without more than two lunch breaks, or perhaps brunch.


	8. Bullets And Gunmetal Definitely Mix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smokes doesn't like racist bigots
> 
> he does like guns, though
> 
> and robbing people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> perspective changes are marked by a "File Loaded: *character names*"
> 
> have fun

File Loaded: Smokes

To say that Smokes liked firearms was an understatement, even if he wasn’t a fluffy boss monster with a magical affinity for fire. Out of boredom he would unload the rounds in the magazines, and then load them back in again. It was good practice, and he would occasionally dismantle one of his pistols and put it back together again for the same reason.

He never really remembered where he came from or why he liked guns, he just did. Maybe he had a bad time remembering things, maybe he took an injury to his bony forehead, perhaps his SOUL got ripped out and replaced with another one that seemed to like guns, or vice versa. You could say he smokes just because it reminds him of smoke coming out of the barrel of a gun.

It didn’t really matter, though. When somebody interferes with somebody else’s business, rightfully they’d want a bullet through the other’s head, and Smokes was the monster holding the gun, like a skeleton key to all your issues. A hitman.

Smokes had an affinity for finding crime and corruption, regardless of the AU. Wherever he went, there was often somebody willing to hire somebody like him. It paid for his little gun hobby, his cigarettes, and for chipping in on Cabbie’s house payments. 

He felt like he owed the guy something for living here despite them trying to say no, considering he waived tons of passengers on a gut feeling or because he thought they would be or already are good friends with his brother. His brother ran a social media channel playing games and debunking popular myths about monsters, practically being the mascot for the total population of a thousand something monsters remaining on the planet, also bringing in most of the cash to pay for the frankly absurdly large mansion. 

Perhaps the mansion was intended for Cabbie’s other buds, like Toriel, Asgore, Alphys, or the kid that Insans seemed so hellbent on killing. He didn’t really know, or care, he just felt obligated to pay for Cabbie’s kindness.

Enough talk.

Today was a day like any other. He recently was approached for a job on an anti-monster politician, and decided to stock up…

...by robbing a private security company weapon transport.

Smokes didn’t consider it karma, but the private security company he was robbing was more of a gang of crooks and mercenaries than any old guards. Smuggling in their soldiers and illegal merchandise they ‘liberated’ through shipping containers, boosting gold from Saddam’s palace, stealing works of art from the Iraqi National Gallery, the list went on.

Murkywater, they called it. A shady U.S style PMC with a shark rising out of the blue water as their logo. As the name suggests, what they do isn’t always legal, or secret.

Smokes had a feeling this company wasn’t from any old timeline, but who cares? Guns are guns.

When day turned to night, he made his move.

Smokes arrived on a concrete platform much higher than the actual trainyard. He snuck in through a maintenance tunnel, and after some difficulty trying to dodge the views of the patrolling soldiers, he arrived above ground, faced with three trains to break into.

He moved upon the first one farthest from the platform he arrived on, busting open the train car’s door with a fairly quiet breaching charge that broke the lock, and hopped in, closing the door behind him.

When he looked around, he was presented with at least a dozen cases of varying sizes, likely full of weapons, unguarded. 

He walked over in a crouch, eager but unwilling to make noise, and opened the case, presented with a 50.61 FAL, with three magazines packed with 7.62x51mm. Despite being quite old, the right arm of the Free World was reliable, and suited for the job he was put up to. He closed the case, set it aside at the door, and opened a smaller one, which for some reason wasn’t packed with guns, rather it was packed with Sans-sized combat fatigues and dual shoulder slings that could hold two pistols.

“nice.” He closed the second case, set it with the other case, and opened the third.

After a short while of checking all the cases, he shortcutted all of them into his room at Cabbie’s place, and put them in the closet, to be used later, leaving all the goons at the trainyard wondering where their shit went.

During his little stock-up spree, he had acquired enough guns to equip ten men, and had enough bullets to shower in the casings after he fired them all. What weapons he wouldn’t use, he would dismantle and cobble together into customs for fun.

The anti-monster politician was going to be spewing more carefully worded bullshit at a political meeting at noon for his party, being recorded and broadcasted to anger just the right people, including the people who hired him.

Tomorrow, somebody would be silenced.

\---

Smokes spent the night on the higher floor of a tall hotel building in view of where the meeting would be held, dismantling the battle rifles to check the parts for any mishaps during manufacture, and for swapping out parts between the variants.

After adjusting the new scope with a screwdriver, swapping out the old barrel for a longer one popped off a variant, and adding a bi-pod, the battle rifle was complete.

Just as he finished admiring it, the clock struck noon, and he went to work.

As the members of the anti-monster group took to their seats, Smokes set the battle rifle on the windowsill and took aim as his target began speaking his last words, heard from a television in the background.

“Citizens,monsters are by all means fragile. A child can kill them in a single blow even at their strongest.”

Smokes’ eternal smile raised on one end into what resembled a smirk as he adjusted his aim to compensate for the distance. He may have been a hitman, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have his own views.

“spewing bullshit.”

“We have come to the conclusion that, while their intentions may be good, monsters as an entire species must be migrated to a community sanctuary, which we will fund and maintain.”

Smokes tuned out the rest. He adjusted further for the wind and put his phalange on the trigger. As the politician reached what looked like his conclusion, he pulled the trigger, causing 7.62x51 millimeters of freedom to punch through glass and the man’s brain. He dropped to the floor as those who remained ran out of the building.

Smokes felt a rush of adrenaline (or the monster equivalent) the instant the split-second flash from the muzzle subsided, silently cheering as he gathered everything up, put on his best mask of fear and panic, then checked out of the hotel and shortcutted home, miles away from the scene.

Another manipulator silenced by a bullet.

\---

Cabbie didn’t seem to ask why Smokes was so giddy when he walked in the door after a long day hauling people from AU to AU, he already pieced together what he did and silently walked back into his room.

It went without saying that Cabbie and Frisk weren’t exactly happy about Smokes’ “job”, the latter often saying he should quit and go back before karma caught up, the former simply stayed silent.

Smokes closed the door behind him as he walked in his room and set the case aside, put his trenchcoat on a hanger and lit a cigarette as he watched the news on his TV while sitting in a beanbag. A reporter stood outside of the building where his bullet hit his target.

“For our viewers recently joining us, today Senator Muldoon was recently killed during a political meeting for the Conservative Monster Group, attempting to call for the relocation of monsters due to their fragility-” The reporter scoffed. “before being shot in the head. While the suspect’s identity is still unknown, police say they will be investigating thoroughly. More information later tonight.”

Smokes shut the television off and checked his bank account to find that it had been recently been wired a large amount. His eternal grin widened. He then wrote a check for Cabbie, pushed it under his door and spent the next sleepless night smoking, drinking and furthering his hobby for guns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> murkywater is a fictional company in the game series PAYDAY
> 
> PAYDAY is owned by OVERKILL


	9. Looks Like Somebody Got Her Goat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> goat mom takes child to a restaurant in an alternate universe
> 
> dedication

File Loaded: Cabbie

Today was eventful for Cabbie, to say the least.

A skeleton walked up to his taxi and got in, though Cabbie wasn’t exactly sure whether he should deny him a ride. He looked powerful, no doubt that, but power that came for a bad price.

His form constantly flickered in and out of reality, occasionally changing color for a split second before flickering again. His clothes were completely black with yellow lapels on his coat and blue vertical lines on his shorts, it also seemed his bones couldn’t choose a color either, flickering between black, red, and yellow. His eyesockets were red on the inside with two asymmetrical eyes, and his body was covered in glitched ERRORs.

Cabbie shrugged. Business is business.

“where to, glitchy?”

“d̵o̷n̴’̴t̸ ̵c̶a̶l̷l̸ ̶m̸e̵ ̸t̶h̴a̷t̶.̴ ̴j̴u̷s̷t̴…̸ ̵i̶ ̵d̸o̴n̶’̴t̷ ̶h̸a̴v̴e̴ ̶t̶i̷m̴e̶ ̴f̸o̵r̸ ̴t̵h̷i̵s̶,̴ ̶s̴o̷ ̶i̴f̷ ̷y̸o̵u̷ ̷c̷o̸u̸l̷d̶ ̸t̸a̵k̷e̵ ̸m̵e̶ ̶s̸o̶m̴e̸w̵h̷e̶r̴e̵ ̸t̴h̵a̶t̸ ̷i̵s̴n̸’̶t̵ ̵s̵o̵m̴e̴ ̵a̷b̴o̶m̶i̴n̴a̸t̵i̷o̴n̷ ̸o̸f̷ ̴a̸n̶ ̴a̶u̴,̶ ̸i̴’̸d̶ ̷b̵e̴ ̷p̵e̴a̵c̸h̵y̸.̷”

“well, there’s my timeline, but considering you sound like a jingoist i’d rather not have you there.”

“.̷.̵.̶j̷u̷s̵t̷ ̸d̸r̴i̶v̶e̶.̴ ̵i̸ ̸d̸o̸n̴’̵t̵ ̶k̵n̴o̷w̸ ̴o̵r̴ ̵c̸a̶r̵e̶ ̶h̵o̵w̸ ̸y̵o̸u̴ ̸g̴o̷t̷ ̷y̵o̸u̸r̵ ̸h̸a̶n̴d̶s̶ ̶o̸n̸ ̸m̴u̶l̵t̶i̴v̷e̸r̴s̴a̶l̸ ̷t̷e̷l̸e̷p̵o̷r̶t̷a̴t̵i̷o̴n̵,̸ ̷i̴ ̶j̶u̴s̶t̷ ̶n̵e̴e̸d̸ ̸a̸ ̸d̴a̷m̷n̵ ̷b̷r̴e̷a̵k̷.̸”

“ok.”

Sans adjusted the coordinates to his own timeline and turned the key, teleporting back onto the Void Highway.

\---

Since Cabbie couldn’t call him Glitchy, he decided to call him Error, for the text surrounding him constantly despite his form distorting every few seconds.

The glitchy skeleton seemed to ignore his surroundings as he… did crochet?

“so, mind if i keep talking?”

“y̷e̴s̴.̵”

“okay, i won’t say anything. wouldn’t want you breaking out into a fit-ula.”

The passenger looked like he was about ready to snap the crochet hooks in half, but calmed down (amazingly) and simply groaned.

“s̸h̷u̶t̵ ̸u̶p̸.̴”

“ok.”

The grass and trees along the Void Highway shifted in color from the last time Cabbie drove on it. They were light green, but still had the texture of melting wax.

The taxi glowed a light blue and teleported back into Cabbie’s universe.

\---

They landed in front of the garage with a slight thud.

“welp, we’re here. 18 g for the fare.”

Error jammed his hand into a glitchy portal surrounded by ERRORs and pulled it out, revealing eighteen shiny gold coins. He dropped the coins into Cabbie’s hands and got out of the taxi, glitching away.

After the other skeleton had teleported away, Cabbie saw a familiar, tall goat lady wearing the Deltarune on a familiar purple robe, standing at the door with the kid, both of them watching in awe. Before long, Toriel came back to reality. She walked up to the taxi as Cabbie rolled down the window and turned the engine off.

“Hello Sans.”

“heya tori. do you need anything?”

Toriel nodded. The kid pulled out a notepad and pen, beginning to write. When they finished writing, they tore out the paper and held it up to Cabbie. Gently, he grabbed it and read it out loud.

“hi sans, can we go to one of those au places that aunt alphys keeps talking about? they sound really cool! mom says we can go, please sans?”

Cabbie chuckled and put the paper on the dash.

“i dunno kid, some of those places are real dangerous if you find yourself in a bad timeline, and i’m still tryna navigate. you sure the kid can handle that?”

Toriel held a paw to her face in consideration, but nodded.

“I will go with them to ensure their safety. In the event we do find any trouble, I am sure we could bring one of your… multiversal friends… along with us.”

“eh, alright tori. your choice. hop in, lemme get-”

Just as suddenly, the door to Cabbies’ mansion swung open, with Smokes walking through the doorway with a large beige case, wearing a trenchcoat and smoking a cigarette. They shrugged.

“hey, i’ll come along. it’s fu-freaking-” Smokes stumbled over his words in an attempt to save face in front of the kid and Tori, “-boring, no offense.”

Cabbie didn’t feel like arguing against three people, so he shrugged and let them in the taxi. After everybody had buckled their seatbelts and Toriel insisted that Smokes throw out his cigarette (much to his dismay), Cabbie spoke.

“so, kid, wanna choose an au to go to? don’t worry, it might look like it’s bone-tiring, but it’s actually pretty easy if you think about it, to patella you the truth.”

Both Toriel and the kid chuckled. When they finished, Toriel raised the kid and let them choose, though unfortunately they were too short to reach. The kid looked a little disappointed, to be honest.

“ah, alright. how about i flick through the names. if you see something you like, say something. ‘kay kid?”

The kid nodded. Sans flicked through probably at least twenty names before they stopped. Underverse, Underswap, Underfell, ALIVE, Inverted Fate, Ebott’s Wake, ULB... the hell is that? The child kept silent until they saw something, and made a “hey!” or a noise similar to it (honestly, it was probably the most coherent speech they ever heard from the kid.)

Cabbie stopped before he overshot, and read out the name of the universe.

“alltale’s, huh? kinda sounds like a restaurant.”

Frisk jumped up and smiled. Toriel nodded towards Cabbie, and pulled the kid back into their chair so they could buckle their seatbelt again. When she confirmed they were strapped in, Cabbie turned the key, and the taxi shimmered blue, teleporting back onto the Void Highway.

\---

As Cabbie drove down the Void Highway, he noted that the trees were no longer like melting wax, and more like actual trees, though the ends of the branches still looked goopy.

Toriel and Frisk looked out of the windows together, admiring the view of the screens in the sky, displaying the choices people made in hundreds of AUs. Smokes didn’t seem to really care, fidgeting with his trenchcoat since he couldn’t smoke.

“pretty nice, right?”

“Indeed. When I had first heard your description of such a place, I thought it to be quite unsettling. I am glad it is not, though. The small one does not need such a burden during their trip.”

“yup.”

The taxi shimmered blue yet again, and teleported to Alltale’s.

\---

Cabbie’s taxi hit what seemed to be asphalt with a small thud, jolting the kid and Toriel.

“ah, sorry, it does that. i need to get better suspension. anyways, we’re here.”

They had landed in a parking square in front what appeared to be a large restaurant, with a garden as the second floor. There was a large sign in front that read simply “Alltale’s”. Cabbie’s eyesocket twitched.

“okay, when i said it sounded like a restaurant i didn’t know it was actually gonna be true. just so you know nothing makes sense in the multiverse.”

Toriel and the kid laughed while Smokes sat up and took off his seatbelt. Everybody else did the same.

“eh, comes with the job, cabbie. i’ll be in there with y’all in a minute, need to go for a smoke.”

Toriel and Cabbie nodded, though Toriel’s expression showed disapproval towards the ram-horned skeleton. They got out of the taxi with the kid, and walked into the restaurant while Smokes sat in the taxi.

Once they were out of view, Smokes got to work reassembling the two Beretta M9s. In record time, he finished the weapons after putting in the last pin, and put on the dual shoulder slings over his shoulders like a coat under the vest, holstering the Berettas in them after loading them with magazines packed with fifteen rounds of soul-killing 9mm. Ready for combat, he tied his boots, buttoned up his trenchcoat, and walked towards the restaurant.

Behind him, a skeleton with an oversized knife wearing odd, white and black clothing themed with X’s snuck behind the taxi and got in the trunk, unbeknownst to anybody.

\---

Cabbie, Toriel and the kid found themselves in a vast, slightly dim restaurant, surprising a yellow-haired Mettaton wearing a suit. He held his hands together horizontally and put on a gentle smile.

“Why hello, welcome to Alltale’s, darlings! It’s quite unusual we get customers that teleport to our humble AU themselves. Seats for three?”

“A table for four, please. Our acquaintance outside is currently smoking.”

Mettaton looked a little downtrodden when Toriel mentioned smoking so close to a kid, but nonetheless escorted them to a table connected with a wall, near the kitchen, but still fairly close enough that they could hear customers walk in and talk to Mettaton. Business seemed to be booming despite being in such an odd location, having at least fifty customers in the general area, not counting the ones Cabbie couldn’t see.

Toriel and Cabbie waited for Smokes and the menus to arrive as the kid kicked their feet. After around two minutes, another version of the kid, wearing a button-up busboy jacket with their nametag saying “Frisk” delivered the menus. While slightly surprised to see another them, the busboy walked off into the kitchen.

While they read the menus, they heard the door open yet again, and the conversation between what seemed to be Smokes and Mettaton.

“Hello sir! Welcome to Alltale’s. Table for one?”

“actually, is there any table with three people waiting for four? tall goat lady, another me with a classic outfit, and a kid with closed eyes?”

All of them seemed to take a confidence hit when they heard Smokes’ description of them, except for Toriel.

“Certainly, sir! I have a table with customers just like that. Before I take you to their table...” The three could practically hear Mettaton’s metallic eyes narrow. “...please explain to me why you have concealed weapons at a restaurant.”

Smokes pulled his machete out from under his trenchcoat, dropping it on the floor promptly. Some customers turned their heads towards him, but seemed to not care, going back to their meals.

“hey, hey, i’m really only here for the food. don’t mind the machete, i’m really just here for the atmosphere and fun, too.”

Mettaton wasn’t having it.

“Your other weapons.”

Smokes pulled out various sharp objects, and dropped them to the floor, including a few concealed guns from random places, like his boots and pockets. That caught the attention of a few customers, though. After a while, he stopped.

“that’s all boss. trust me, i’m here cause we didn’t actually know what alltale’s was. not all-seeing, needed protection, so now i’m here and being shaken down in a restaurant.”

Mettaton seemed pleased with his explanation, from what they could hear.

“You may put your weapons back.”

Suddenly after Mettaton said that, the weapons on the ground sounded like they disappeared, and Sans’ trenchcoat puffed up audibly with the sound of metal.

“thanks buddo.”

Mettaton escorted Smokes to the table where the rest of the gang was, and sat him down. The robot then walked away back to the register at the entrance.

“smokes, ya good? didn’t know you had so many knives and all that.”

Smokes shrank slightly.

“yeah, i’m good. just wanted to keep people safe, ya know?”

Toriel looked at Smokes with a watchful eye.

“While I do believe you had good intentions, this is a restaurant, skeleton, and there should be no quarrels at such a nice establishment.”

Smokes shrank even more.

“right, right. i’m sorry.”

The four sat at the table reading their menus, eventually all of them deciding on what to order. After a minute, the same busboy came by again, this time with a smug expression. They wrote on their notepad, pulled it out and presented it to the table. It read…

“two skeletons one goat lady, nice.

but for real, what do you want to order?”

The light in everybody’s eyes faded, and Toriel narrowed her eyes. Before she could fireball them, though, Smokes ordered first, unphased.

“five tacos, please and thanks.”

Cabbie was next. The busboy kid wrote down their order.

“ketchup and grilled cheese, thanks chum.”

Another order written… Toriel.

“Only a salad, please.”

...and another… finally, the kid was last. They pulled out their own notepad, wrote a note and tore it off for the other kid to see.

“fries and a burger!”

The busboy wrote down their order and kept the note, nodding to the four with a smile before walking off into the kitchen again.

With nothing else to do, Cabbie decided to share stories with the others, mostly Smokes.

“hey, smokes, wanna tell us any cool stories you might have? like which au you actually came from?”

Smokes shrugged. He seemed a little reluctant to talk, for some reason.

“dunno. i have some stories from visiting those other universes, i’d say they’re pretty cool.”

“ok. patella us all about it. it’ll be a femur minutes before we get our food, so why not, right?”

“i guess. okay, okay, let me start. i was chilling on a bench in waterfall during one of those genocide runs in an underswap universe, right?”

Cabbie was reminded of US!Papyrus, his first passenger and also his first new friend from another world.

“i’m sitting here for a while, smoking a cig while juggling parts for sh- i mean jokes and giggles, after a while this kid, with a full monochrome style n’ black eyes as wide as my eyesockets comes up to me, and they think i’m the resident sans there that got away in time… but i’m not. so we go back and forth for a while, they’re babbling about this ‘omega timeline’ thing that’s supposedly a haven for people in genocide timelines while i’m saying i’m pretty much fine. eventually, we compromise. i can visit for a short while and see if i’m better off without it.”

“well, sounds pretty interesting. go on.”

“the kid tells me to just walk through the door with the thought of going there. now i thought they were batsh-iuuhhhhh… crazy. but i gave it a go, and what do you know, big white space full of alternate us. it was like looking at a freakin rainbow. obviously, i noped right out of there, but i had a thought after i found your taxi service shtick. what if you just went to the omega timeline so people could move around easier? rake in a lotta cash that way.”

Cabbie nodded. It was sound reasoning, really. He just had to hope it applied to garage doors, too. After a while of Smokes telling stories about his travels, the busboy came by with their meals, placing them in front of each person. When the busboy left to the kitchen yet again, they ate their meals, and got up to leave after Smokes kindly paid the bill himself after bagging the rest of the tacos. Unsurprisingly, the restaurant accepted literally every multiversal currency.

As they walked out of the restaurant, Mettaton waved goodbye.

“We sincerely hope you come again soon!”

During the short walk back to the taxi, Smokes felt like something wasn’t exactly right, but he shrugged it off. This was a restaurant, after all.

The four got in the taxi. After fastening their seatbelts, Cabbie adjusted the coordinates back to their own timeline and turned the key, teleporting onto the Void Highway.

\---

File Loaded: Smokes

During their drive on the Void Highway towards Cabbie’s timeline, Smokes watched the trio of pranksters make jokes, but he had the sudden gut feeling that something was wrong. As he pulled out one of his Berettas from his dual shoulder slings under the trenchcoat, he tapped Cabbie’s shoulder.

“cabbie, something’s up and i don’t like it.”

The lights in Cabbie’s eyesockets darkened. Toriel seemed to notice the tension, and whispered to the kid, who ducked to the side slowly. Smokes unbuckled his seat belt and began to open the door.

“stay here.”

He grabbed the door as it swung open, using the momentum to flip himself into the air and onto the taxi roof. The door slammed shut as he approached the trunk.

Just as he was about to grab the trunk, it flung open, revealing another Sans that had crosses on just about everything. Three crosses on the shorts, one on each boot and one giant cross as part of the coat…

“you know, if you have any beliefs you might wanna update your outfit. just sayin’.”

“trust me, i don’t.”

Before Smokes could make a retort, he felt metal rip jaggedly across his left eyesocket all the way to his left horn, flaring up with pain. Despite the incredible pain and little space to work with, he spun around to face his attacker who was now behind him and drew his second Beretta with the other, emptying both magazines onto them.

The crass skeleton weaved around the gunfire and tried to go in for another slash, but was promptly blocked by a now tarnished gun. Smokes frowned at the sight, but nonetheless kept fighting after discarding the two empty Berettas. He pulled out several knives from his trenchcoat and threw them forward at high speed, a few hitting their marks on bone, causing the attacker to flinch.

Taking advantage of the moment, he pulled out his machete as the attacker seemed to summon several red glowing knives that gathered together into one giant knife.

“overcompensating?”

The attacker frowned, and rushed forward. Smokes responded by blocking with the machete and letting the attacker’s blade slide down to the side, opening them up for a well-aimed kick that sent them to the other side of the roof. He took the moment to shrug, machete still in hand.

“don’t worry, i’m only here for the atmosphere. don’t mind the giant machete, i'm really just here for the fun, too."

Smokes threw dozens of knives into the air as they started to glitter like gold, and redirected themselves towards the enemy, launching one by one at a lightning fast pace, some ripping through thin metal as Cabbie and the other passengers yelled out of surprise. Much to his dismay the skeleton stood unwavering, blocking several with his giant knife. His left eyesocket glowed red while Smokes’ vision started darkening in his left eyesocket.

“it was knife to meet you, but i have to put a cab on this.”

Suddenly, the giant knife the skeleton had separated into a dozen smaller glowing red knives that launched forward in a barrage, pinning Smokes to the taxi and snapping a few bones including his right arm. He could also hear surprised shouts; a big sign something in the taxi broke. He could only hope it wasn’t the timeline reader. The skeleton before him kicked off one knife, two knives, three knives…

On the last kick before the knives all would come loose, Smokes went all in and grabbed the skeleton by the leg as the momentum threw them both off the taxi, rolling onto the fake Void asphalt as Cabbie and the other two teleported away into their own AU. 

Smokes turned his head, still on the asphalt to see the same skeleton he fought talking with an odd skeleton that was covered in a black goop that seemed to shine a slight dark blue, with four tentacles. They both seemed to grow more frustrated as the conversation went on before the goopy one grabbed him and teleported to some other alternate universe.

Smokes blinked for a moment before getting up with his good left arm. Pain struck through him as the impact along with the broken bones caused him to start bleeding from several points including his right arm, the crack that went from his left eyesocket to his left horn, and several ribs, though the HP bleed wouldn’t be enough to kill him for now. 

He sat down again and pulled out a bag of the leftovers from Alltale's from his dirtied up trenchcoat, pulled out a taco, then chomped down on it, stopping most of the bleeding in everywhere except from his left eyesocket and right arm when he finished. The scar and broken bones remained, though. He would need a professional healer or many more tacos.

“you owe me so many damn cigarettes, cabbie.”

Smokes got up yet again, and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with the snap of his fingers. After his first puff of smoke, he started walking on the edge of the Void Highway to find an exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> underverse and x!tale are owned by jael peñaloza
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm6xtTe5SrgjOy3VmRz4PCw
> 
> alltale's is a nice little chinese AU, owned by Lofter, aka zhuyishanren
> 
> http://zhuyishanren.lofter.com/tag/AllTale's
> 
> my first cliffhanger...
> 
> what a moment...


	10. Undertale Isekai Is Real And Approaching Swiftly Towards Your Location

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OCs galore
> 
> two more sanses
> 
> because more skeletons = cool yes yes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took too long, sorry, i had a little block about what to write for the entire chapter itself and then one for the ending
> 
> 10th chapter tho!!! wowzers!!! so far well received!!!
> 
> thanks for commenting
> 
> i missed some stuff on chapters and they fixed that
> 
> i'm making so much stuff up for my fanon

File Loaded: Cabbie

While Smokes fought on the roof of the taxi, Cabbie scrambled to make sure Toriel and the kid were safe, though he couldn't completely stop the projectiles that came through the thin metal body or the rear windshield in mid-air, he opted for redirecting the knives and a few bullets with his telekinesis, tearing holes into the body of the taxi. He kept everybody including himself relatively safe, though they jumped every time a knife or bullet buried itself into a seat or ripped through metal.

Suddenly, they could see red shining through the rear glass. Before Cabbie or anybody else in the taxi could turn around to see what it was, several red glowing knives pierced through the glass and dug into the front seats, missing Cabbie and the others. He tried to sneak a glance at the now caved-in rear windshield and spotted Smokes grabbing the opposing skeleton's leg to throw both of them off, rolling onto the Void Highway as the taxi drove away automatically.

When Cabbie's shock dissipated and the light returned to his eye sockets, he tore himself away from the sight to look back at the dash, only to find that a stray knife had stabbed through the timeline reader, causing it to tremble and shake while the timeline destination display flickered through a million names a second, finally stopping at Adventurertale (whatever the hell that was) before the taxi glowed blue yet again, albeit flickering, beginning to teleport.

"well, shit."

There wasn't any time for Toriel to scold Sans on cussing in front of the kid, the taxi had teleported the instant he said that, leaving nothing behind except background magic...

\---

Cabbie had expected a long, painful landing, but instead heard a soft thud as if they had landed on grass. When he looked around, he realized they were on a grass patch at the side of a dirt road out in front of what seemed to be a medieval styled city, with towering stone walls that wrapped around the city. While the engine was perfectly intact, allowing him to drive normally, he would probably have to find help to fix the timeline reader to get home.

He turned to the other two, who still seemed shaken by the ordeal.

"y'all good? there's a city over there, i'm gonna try and get help."

Toriel seemed to snap out of it and nodded.

"good."

Cabbie turned the key yet again, only to hear a mostly authentic engine startup noise rather than a teleport. He stepped on the pedal and drove at a modest pace towards the medieval city.

While the city was indeed farther away than it looked (probably because of the uneven roads and hills), the ride went smoothly until they were stopped by several horse-drawn carriages. A caravan, perhaps?

Before he could get out and make contact, it seemed the caravan made their move first. Two skeletons like Sans, one wielding two long curved blades while wearing what seemed to be combat fatigues under metal armor that was complete with a cuirass and faulds patterned with the Delta Rune, the other wielding a staff built around a magic crystal, wearing chainmail and leather over green archer-style clothes. They seemed wary of the taxi and not the passengers, though.

Cabbie opened the door, surprising both of them as they moved into a combat stance. He held his arms out to try and deescalate the conflict, but the two remained wary, approaching slowly.

"hey, i'm not gonna do anything, c'mon guys-"

The more heavily-armored Sans cut in with what sounded like a South African accent.

"ey', talk. what the hell is that contraption? why is the queen with you and not at the mansion?"

"woah, woah, slow down. let's find somewhere to talk first, okay?"

"...fine. move alongside our carriages and we'll sit in the contraption to guard the queen. alphys will know what to do with this hunk of metal."

"ok."

The armored one got in the front seat, while the mage got in the backseat. Sans sat back in the driver seat and turned the key again as the engine started up with a loud purr. The sound made the two new passengers jolt, but nonetheless they stayed on target. The armored skeleton waved towards the escort to signal them to move forward, and move forward they did, the taxi following close behind.

As they drove, Cabbie tried to make small talk, most of it deflected or simply ignored. He shrugged, but kept going.

"so, names?"

Though he didn't expect for the two to answer, the mage spoke up first.

"key."

The armored one spoke last with his arms crossed.

"locke, e is silent."

Cabbie didn't think it would be such a good idea to pry into the secret meanings or whatever, so he nodded.

"nice names. pretty unique for sanses."

Locke and Key looked at him in confusion before they stopped at the gate. A soldier at the front of the escort seemed to be shouting at the guards up above the gate. One of them seemed to nod before pulling what Cabbie could only assume was a lever, opening the gate to the city slowly. Key seemed to make small talk with Toriel and the kid, though Toriel was understandably more protective than usual.

The escort moved forward again through the streets of the city towards what seemed to be the castle or simply a townhall. Citizens pointed and stared in awe at the taxi from the cobblestone streets or from their homes, likely seeing it as a hunk of metal that could seemingly move by itself. The drive, however, was short-lived. Not too long after they entered the city, they arrived at a gate with the rest of the escort in front of a castle. Two guards waved the escort in through the gates as they moved in front of the entrance. After stopping, the escort troops untied their horses from the carriages and split into two teams so that one could lead the horses to the stables while the other moved the supplies into the building. The coordination was something that Locke seemed quite proud of, smirking at the sight.

Locke tapped Cabbie's shoulder to tell him and the other to move. They all got out of the taxi and walked inside the building. It seemed, well, chaotic. Crates of various supplies were gathered in piles around the main hall as troops marched at a brisk pace. Locke and Key led Cabbie, Toriel, and the kid up a set of stairs towards a room marked with two crowns and two grand doors. Both of the skeletons pushed each door open, and walked into view of another version of Asgore and Toriel. Asgore was giving orders to several high-ranking soldiers that had enough medals to be defeated with a magnet, while Toriel seemed to be writing documents with a quill dipped in ink. When the two looked over to the new visitors, understandably both sides were shocked. Asgore had lost his train of thought and simply blinked rapidly with his mouth open, trying to get a grip on reality while the other Toriel simply stared into their souls after dropping the quill onto her desk. Cabbie waved in an attempt to defuse the situation, and Toriel responded.

"I... hello. I am Queen Toriel. Perhaps you have many questions about our situation, as do I about your own. Come-" The other Toriel waved towards another room that seemed to contain a meeting table and a few chairs. "-we have much to talk about.

Cabbie, Toriel and the kid followed behind the other-Toriel into the meeting room. Locke and Key stood guard outside with their hands held behind their backs. Other-Toriel motioned for the three to take their seats and then took a seat for herself.

"First, let us establish names. Please tell me each of your names one by one."

"i'm cabbie, i own the metal box thing outside the building."

The kid simply tilted their head as if they didn't have a name. Other-Toriel moved on to save time.

"I am Toriel, mother of this child right here." Toriel patted the kid's head. "I assume we should assign nicknames like Sans has done with his other doppelgangers. Other-Toriel sounds a bit rude, so I do hope that Queen would be suitable for now."

Queen nodded.

"Indeed. So now that we've established nicknames, please tell me your business."

Toriel looked at Cabbie, who shrugged.

"most of this stuff is royal scientist related, but i'll summarize. as you can see from the fact there are two toriels in this room, it's safe to assume there are alternate worlds out there. my taxi teleports us between those alternate worlds, and a fight broke the machine that allowed us to teleport accurately. so we need some materials to fix it and get out of your hair. sooner the better."

Queen looked downwards at the table, processing the new information. She looked back towards Cabbie with a smile.

"I see there is no reason to not offer support to somebody in need. We will send you the materials and tools, though might I ask you for a favor before you leave?"

"materials for favors sounds like a deal to me. go ahead."

"Thank you, Cabbie. I am not sure if you have been here long enough to observe such a thing, but in our world the background magic caused by monsters sort of... condenses into abnormal animals, with unusual physical features and magical capabilities. They do not possess SOULs, nor do they possess a sound state of mind, causing them to lash out at the sight or smell of any kind of life except plants. Our adventurers risk their lives each day in attempt to cull the populations, though it is quite often for the beasts to bounce back and replenish. Locke and Key are some of our best adventurers, but I have a thought that if you or Toriel were simply another version of our fighters and myself, then it would not be a surprise that you would also be quite powerful. Thus, I would like to ask you to participate in the hunt. Several of our adventurers have unfortunately perished or retired, and the performance of the unit is dwindling because of it."

Cabbie looked at Toriel, who simply nodded.

"we'll do it, but we need you to guarantee the safety of the kid, whether that's with an escort or sitting in a guest room is your decision."

"Thank you. I will see to it that the child is kept safe. Locke and Key will be assigned to guard you in your... vehicle. The hunt begins four hours from now."

"thanks."

All four of them promptly left the meeting room. Queen departed to continue signing documents (and also to probably snap Asgore out of his confusion) while Cabbie, Toriel, and the kid were moved to a guest room that seemed to be a repurposed children's room with a table, two child-sized beds, and a cabinet filled with old dusty toys and striped shirts of all kinds. Toriel seemed to shudder at the sight, though Sans simply flopped onto the carpeted floor and started snoring.

Toriel took a seat at the table with the kid.

"My child, before we depart from the city, I must inform you of the dangers that lurk outside..."

She spent at least three hours repeating warnings just so that the kid could understand. By the end of it, the kid had dropped their head onto the table in absolute boredom.

Cabbie woke up from their impromptu nap as Locke and Key entered the room.

"the hunt is beginning soon. time to move."

The three of them got up and followed the duo outside towards their taxi. A soldier packed a crate full of what Cabbie could only assume was spare metal and other parts into the trunk as they all got in the taxi. Cabbie started the car and waited for the caravan to move. 

Soon after, they began moving, and Cabbie followed from behind in the taxi. They moved through the city towards the gates, gaining more curious looks from citizens, human and monster alike.

He assumed that this AU was several centuries away from his own, so it was intriguing that the two races lived together, considering the war between humans and monsters. He didn't exactly mind, though. Back home in his timeline, humans and monsters were living in relative harmony together after the monsters were released from their prison. It would have been very bad if the monsters weren't accepted, especially for his brother.

How did the Barrier go down, anyways? That was a question a lot of monsters asked. Justified, considering the kid is still alive and well. It didn't exactly matter, though.

The caravan moved through the gate and into the grasslands, departing towards what looked like a forest. The unpaved dirt road made the ride bumpy, but Locke's expression seemed to be saying "god, this is so much softer than the carriages" so Cabbie didn't complain, though he still tried to make conversation.

"so, you two got any cool stories to share? i'm listening."

Locke glanced at Cabbie.

"none that'll be very interesting."

Key spoke up with a cheerful expression.

"i know a good one. so we were in the forest fighting this giant golem thing-"

Suddenly, the caravan stopped. Locke and Key jolted upright with serious expressions, and Cabbie could tell something wasn't right, as the magic around him simply felt... wrong. Locke was first out of the car, signaling with his hand for the other three to stay seated. He unsheathed his two swords as Key readied his staff.

The background magic began to condense around them into a cloud, before exploding outwards in a dirt-filled smokescreen. The creature that appeared seemed to be a giant wolf with snow-white fur laced with ice, possessing light blue eyes. Ice magic manifested around the ice-wolf into several dozen icicles sharper than a blade before being launched at a fast speed towards the caravan.

Locke dashed into the barrage, smashing projectiles left and right with his swords as Key followed, summoning a barrage of bones to counter the rest of the icicles. Some of the bones missed allowing for a few icicles to get through, but several guards countered them with shields and magic projectiles that shot them out of the air. Key ran after Locke towards the ice-wolf, countering the icicles that came too close to either of them with bones that shattered them and shot through the ice-wolf's fur, digging into the flesh, causing it to howl in pain.

Locke took advantage of the moment to slam the creature with the head of a Gaster Blaster, knocking it down as the blaster charged and fired a beam of pure, agonizing heat that melted the ice and burned away the fur of the ice-wolf before hacking and slashing with a flurry of strikes using his swords, drawing a sickly black liquid that Cabbie could only assume was ichor or magic of some kind. The duo leaped away when the ice-wolf.

Key seemed to charge the magic in his staff, the crystal in it glowing with a bright cyan-gold gradient shine. Locke sharpened his blades as the ice-wolf tried to get up, tripping back onto the ground.  
Locke moved back as the light in Key's eyesockets shone like stars, and he snapped his fingers, summoning a giant blaster. As it fired, the beast fired their own ice-beam to counter it, pushing back.

"locke!"

Locke dashed from behind Key to flank the creature with a wide joyous grin. He leaped into a flying kick, knocking it over before preparing for a killing blow.

"you got it!"

He stabbed the beast's head with both blades, embedding them into the brain of the ice-wolf and killing it, spraying ichor onto Locke. He swung his swords to get rid of the fluid and sheathed them. As the two walked away from the corpse, it disintegrated, leaving nothing behind except chunks of ice and dispersed magic.

When they got in the taxi, Cabbie whistled in amazement at the fight.

"didn't expect you two to fight like that, i'm pretty impressed. i thought you'd be lazy like me."

Locke shrugged.

"s'what we do for a living. hard to be lazy when your job is adventuring outside the walls."

The caravan continued moving forward towards the forest. While Cabbie expected there to be vast golden fields of wheat surrounding windmills, or herds of animals grazing... there was nothing there, except for torn up ground, and the bones or dust of the unfortunate. It seemed that the magical creatures were so commonplace that everything outside the walls was simply gone, or in hiding. Locke noticed Cabbie's discouragement at the sight.

"icy that you aren't feeling so fibula-ous, maybe you should take a break?"

Cabbie chuckled, and shrugged.

"ah, i've had a skele-ton of 'em. what's one more gonna do to me?"

Key and Toriel laughed while Locke's grin widened.

"ha, patella me all about it."

The two went back and forth with jokes of a similar caliber for a while until they reached the forest. Toriel and Frisk threw in some puns with a smile, too.

Ah, puns... the lowest form of wit. Wit, however, is the highest form of humor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i need to write longer paragraphs
> 
> locke and key were originally going to fight cabbie
> 
> maybe i should make a story out of this...
> 
> what would the series be called...?
> 
> locke is based off of payday 2's locke. he doesn't say kerel, though. would be nice, yeah?


	11. American Skeleton Isekai???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chain-smoker skeleton scares away humans
> 
> maybe they dunno what monsters are...?
> 
> or just forgot...
> 
> weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the writing is lower quality
> 
> this was a rush job and i decided to split the adventure in two
> 
> i have a new schedule, i'll post every 2-4 days
> 
> i'm sorry if i'm late
> 
> but thanks for the support, so wherever you might be, i'm still not giving up here, okay?

File Loaded: Smokes  
  
Smokes walked along the side of the Void Highway with a lit cigarette that seemed to magically float in front of his teeth, fidgeting with his new scar that went from his left eye socket to his left horn. He paid no mind to the faraway screens in the air, nor did he care about the fact that the highway seemed to be undecided on whether it wanted to be solid or not.  
  
After finding a bench in one of the more developed parts of the highway, he sat down and groaned loudly in annoyance while resting his head on the top of the bench.  
  
"holy shit, this place _suuuuucks._ "  
  
He wasn't exactly good at videogames or anything except disassembling guns and shooting them, though he got quite annoyed whenever disassembly somehow became boring in an endless dark dimension with no light except from the streetlights.   
  
He took a moment to smoke the last of his cigarette, brushed the ashes off his trenchcoat, and got up from the bench to continue walking. Though his broken right arm stung, he kept moving on the highway, kicking away a single rock that hadn't yet fused with the road. In a place like the Void where there was no light except from the street lights of the Highway and nobody to talk to, he'd take every chance at entertainment.  
  
In the distance, he could spot an exit sign with a dirt path leading away from the road. He assumed this one was unique, considering all the others were paved and all that. Filled with excitement, he jogged onto the path, stumbling once before arriving at a old-looking wooden door, marked with the words "Pretale".  
  
Rather than ask questions, he threw the door open and ran through.  
  
\---  
  
Smokes didn't exactly expect to be falling through the sky after running through a door without stopping to look through it, but he was indeed falling, still frozen in a running position.  
  
He quickly righted himself parallel to the ground before slowing down with telekinesis. He couldn't exactly float like back in Outertale, but there was another thing he could technically float on without hurting himself. Smokes summoned a board of bones under him, purposefully slowing it down after landing on it to reduce his speed. After a few seconds, he was slowly drifting to the ground, but before he could step off the board, it seemed that the bones had already lived out their lifespan and disappeared before he could prepare to land, causing him to flop onto the hill below and roll down onto the trunk of a tree, bumping his head on it.  
  
"ow."  
  
He sat his head against the trunk of the tree to collect himself. A butterfly fluttered briefly in the air before floating down at the edge of his nasal bone. As he came back to reality, when he noticed the butterfly he allowed it to sit briefly on his face...  
  
…before promptly being crushed and thrown to the ground beside him with his telekinesis. Smokes blinked, one of his eye sockets closing before the other, and got up. He brushed his trenchcoat off and walked back up the hill where he fell to get a good vantage point. As he reached the top, he looked around. Most of his surroundings seemed to be deep, wooded areas surrounded by what he could only assume was a valley, though there seemed to be a village nearby.  
  
"guess it's not too bad to ask for directions, huh? hope there won't be any torches and pitchforks or anything like that."  
  
He lit another cigarette with the snap of his fingers using his good arm, took a puff, and set off towards the village.  
  
During his walk through the clearer areas of the woodlands, he saw groups of rabbits, deer and other fauna scampering about, grazing at particularly overgrown areas. It was a little odd, though. Wasn't there a city, like, right in the middle of this forest, filled with rednecks that poached the wildlife into oblivion? He didn't waste much time thinking about it as he approached the village.  
  
After getting closer, he could recognize that most of the structures were almost completely made out of wooden materials, only using stone as a foundation. There were no walls around the village, though there was a watchtower.  
  
The path that led into the village seemed to have been worn out by years of use. In fact, there was a human sitting on a horse-drawn carriage smack-dab in the middle. What century was this damn place living in? Regardless, the human was probably a local who knew his way around the area, so Smokes decided to approach them.  
  
Of course, that seemed to be a bad idea, because when he walked out of the brush noisily, the human turned to look at whatever made the sound. When they saw him, they stared in shock. The human fell off the carriage and got up to run away from him. The horse, however, didn't care at all.  
  
"D-d-demon! Stay away!" They yelled while running into the village. The human seemed to be making a commotion in the village, because he could hear further yelling and other chatter.  
  
Smokes blinked several times in confusion and disbelief. He shrugged.  
  
"well, okay then." The skeleton knocked on one of his curled horns. "maybe he ran away cause of my horns?"  
  
He snuffed out the cigarette in his mouth to try to look more friendly, though the dark eyebags that seemed to persist even though he was a skeleton would probably do the trick for scaring people away. He gave up and walked into the village.  
  
The response was... less than satisfactory. Doors were slammed closed, deadbolts were locked, open windows were closed, and anybody that didn't get inside in time was running for cover. It wasn't like he was going to shoot fire and brimstone or anything, right? Regardless, by the time he got halfway to the center of the village the place was dead quiet. The braver ones, mostly kids, peeked out from windows, staring in awe (or fear) at Smokes as he sat down on a lonely bench in front of a well in the middle of the village, lighting a cigarette as he glanced around.  
  
He walked up to a random house in the village and sat against the door. He knocked twice with his remaining good arm.  
  
"knock knock."  
  
...  
  
No answer. All he could hear was heavy breathing. Smokes sighed, but kept trying.  
  
"hey, don't leave me hanging here. you gotta say "who's there", ok? one more time."  
  
He knocked twice on the door again. After a brief moment, he could hear the shaky, slightly high-pitched voice of a child.  
  
"W-who's there?"  
  
Smokes was surprised anybody actually answered, much less a kid. He shrugged.  
  
"dishes."  
  
The kid seemed to pause for a moment. Smokes thought they wouldn't carry on with the rest of the joke, but he was proven wrong after a few seconds.  
  
"Dishes who...?"  
  
"dishes a very bad joke."  
  
There was nothing but silence after he said that. Then, suddenly, the kid got the joke, because they started chuckling, though they quickly stopped. Smokes tried knocking again, but there was no answer. It seemed like the kid's parents had finally pulled them away.  
  
"well, can't blame a guy for tryin'. thanks, though."  
  
Smokes seemed to get the memo about how the townspeople felt about him being here, and got up to leave. Before he could turn around though, he heard a door that was thrown open, followed by several shouts, and light footsteps. He turned to face the cause of the commotion and was faced with yet another child, who was wearing two tough-looking gloves with a bandana in an exaggerated fighting stance. They had a determined look, and began to yell at the skeleton.  
  
"Hey! Weird skeleton guy, nobody wants you here! Get out of here before I throw you out!"  
  
Smokes flicked away his cigarette and shrugged. What was up with the kids in this town?  
  
"i dunno kid, i think i'm too lazy for that kinda stuff. just get back inside, i'll leave myself."  
  
Behind the kid, he could see his mother running towards him before grabbing him and dragging him away, glaring at Smokes before running back to inside their home, then slamming the door closed.  
  
As he walked away, he could hear her yelling at the kid. Chuckling, he left the village and looked up at the nearby mountain.  
  
"wonder if that's mount ebott... would kinda suck if the only way in was to drop down _ebottomless_ hole, heh."  
  
He set his new destination for Mt. Ebott and left the village, beginning to walk up the mountain, his best bet at finding a healer, down in the Underground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to clarify
> 
> pretale is after the sealing of the monsters, but right before chara and asriel go die on the surface
> 
> sounds cool right?
> 
> yeah
> 
> the chapter after next chapter is gonna be my attempt at fluff


	12. A Fight Of Beastly Proportions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 skeletons fight big boss creature
> 
> dedication...?
> 
> celebrating 20,000 words by throwing another fight at you
> 
> it'll de escalate soon, probably...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really sorry about this being short and also a day late
> 
> i also had a bunch of other stuff to do
> 
> i'll write a beach episode or something after the next 2 chapters

File Loaded: Cabbie  
  
  
The taxi drove behind the caravan through the forest. As they drove, the five inside continued to make jokes, puns, and other forms of japery. Though it progressively started snowing more and more, while they got colder yet colder, they kept their spirits up. After they complete Queen's favor, Cabbie would be able to use the crate of parts placed in the trunk to fix the timeline reader, allowing them to go back home.

It was Toriel's turn to tell a pun.

"What do you call a cow with no legs?"

Cabbie shrugged.

"i dunno tori, you patella me."

Toriel could barely suppress a snicker as she began to say the punchline.

"Ground beef!"

Key and the kid couldn't stop themselves from laughing until they started choking, while Cabbie chuckled. The snow seemed to be slowly progressing towards hail as they drove, pelting the taxi and the rest of the caravan with tiny hailstones the size of crumbs.

Those inside the carriages lit gas lamps or held out an unmoving bullet of fire magic in front of them for light and heat, evident from the slight yellow glow that shined through the thin cloth that protected them from the hail. The coachmen lit their own lamps soon after, and hanged them on hooks that protruded from the rest of the carriage to provide light so the other carriages stayed together without losing sight.

Cabbie saw Frisk shiver slightly, so he turned a switch on the dashboard. After a moment, a barely noticeable hum came from the heater core from behind the dash, allowing warm air into the cabin, turning the temperature inside from freezing cold to comfortably warm. Locke and Key looked quite shocked at the sight. Key leaned over towards Cabbie's direction.

"what did that switch do? is it magic that made the warm air? wait, let me guess... you're a time traveler...?"

Cabbie laughed for a few seconds.

"slow down, buddy. okay, one, the switch turned on the heater core, a little radiator that heats up the air. two, no, it isn't magic. just human tech, good chum. now, three, not quite a time traveler. we're multiverse travelers."

Key looked like he wanted to ask more, but sat back in his seat.

"i have so many questions."

Locke's grin widened.

"and you'll get the answers to those questions after we get back, isn't that right, cabbie?"

A vaguely threatening feeling was coming off of Locke. Cabbie felt a drop of sweat roll down his skull.

"uh... yeah."

Toriel could practically see the tension between the two, and attempted to diffuse it with a pun. It seemed that she had honed her skills well by glaring at Asgore menacingly for every second that she interacted with him, enough to see such an "anime-like" concept , as Alphys had put it.

"What does a goat shave his beard into?"

Both of them lost the tension they once had and turned towards her. Locke chuckled and shrugged, realizing what had happened.

"well, i dunno, what?"

"A goatee!"

It took a moment for anybody else to get the joke, but slowly, the taxi erupted into laughter, Toriel included.

The laughs lasted for a few moments before being interrupted suddenly by the impact of a giant baseball sized hailstone, making a slight dent on the hood over the teleporter as Toriel and the kid yelped. Cabbie buffed it out from inside the taxi with his telekinesis as he saw multiple other golf-ball sized hailstones pelt the ground around them. He turned towards the three in the backseats, and spoke with a smug grin.

"don't worry, after we're done, we'll get the hail out of here."

After driving for a while through the forest, the weather seemed to stay stagnant and unchanging, never letting up on the barrage of hailstones on the caravan. One of the lanterns on the carriages was slammed and put out by the hail shortly before being lit again as the hailstones hit the cloth covering the carriages, occasionally making the frame bend as if it was about to cave in before snapping back into place.

Suddenly, the caravan stopped as a canine monster hopped out from the front carriage with a lantern and spoke to the coachman of each carriage, reading out instructions and information before stopping at the taxi. Locke sat up as the canine saluted him, and he saluted back.

"adventurer, report."

The canine nodded.

"Sir, we've spotted a cavern at three 'o clock two klicks away that may be the center of agitation for the beasts. I have informed the coachmen to move on your signal as per the queen's orders."

"good work. head back to your designated carriage and prepare for combat."

The canine saluted again before running back to the front carriage. Locke took a shortcut out of the taxi and grabbed the signal lamp hanging from his belt, a cylindrical lantern featuring a sliding shutter for Morse code signals. As he walked forward, he lit the lantern, closed the shutter and moved to the side of the caravan. Once he faced the caravans, he held out the lantern with one hand while holding sliding shutter handle in the other. He began to close and open it repeatedly at different timings to represent the dots and dashes of Morse code.

Dash one, dash two, representing M. Dash one, dash two, dash three, representing O. Dot one, dot two, dot three, dash four, representing V. Dot one, representing E. He shut the lamp for a brief pause to signify a space. All together, the Morse code represented MOVE. Locke rushed back to the taxi as the carriages began to move forward at a faster speed and shortcut back inside after brushing the snow off himself.

"forward, cabbie."

"you got it head honcho."

Locke scoffed as Cabbie stepped on the gas pedal and moved forward with the caravan towards the cave at a relatively brisk pace. Cabbie was the one to speak first.

"pretty serious when ya want to, huh?"

Locke shrugged, and looked away into the blizzard-like weather.

"if i end up going all relaxed on the guild they'll start getting killed. it might not be customary for glorified mercenaries like us, but it's just standard beneficial procedure that keeps us moving, thinking, and alive."

"eh, whatever works for you. anything strict like that woulda ribbed me apart."

The rest of the passengers laughed with Cabbie and Locke. As they calmed down, the front carriage held out a signal lamp, using Morse code again to say that the caravan was going to move into the cave now. Cabbie flicked on the headlights as the caravan entered the icy cavern.  
  
"icy that queen didn't tell us everything, huh locke?"  
  
Locke shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"she had no time for specifics. the queen handles everything except the army, and it's hard to explain to fellow royalty that you need a band of adventurers to cull the beast population."  
  
For at least a minute, they were driving in silence, until the caravan stopped at the point where there were more icicles on the roof of the cave than stalactites. Adventurers hopped out of the carriages one by one in unison to unload various field supplies, such as rations, medical tents, sleeping bags, and more that Cabbie couldn't quite identify. Locke opened the car door.  
  
"here's our stop. prepare for a fight. tori, i advise you stay with the kid before something goes wrong."  
  
Toriel and the kid nodded as Locke turned to Cabbie.  
  
"cabbie, you're with me and key. when i say prepare for a fight, that means you better not be napping in the middle of something critical."  
  
Cabbie chuckled as he opened his own door.  
  
"alright chief."  
  
The trio weaved between adventurers, saluting them unless they were carrying something. The background magic around them felt incredibly dense, like honey or syrup, so much so that the icicles seemed to give off their own natural light, allowing for the adventurers to extinguish their lanterns.  
  
The time it took to walk to the end of the cavern felt like an eternity, but Locke kept Cabbie's attention away from the magic by talking to him, while Key stared straight ahead.  
  
"i just want to say that this thing that's at the end of the cavern would be the head honcho of all the ice-mutts we've been eliminating on the way here and is probably the cause of the horrible weather. so unless you want to die, cabbie, i suggest you try not to get cocky. confident? sure, but cockiness gets you killed."  
  
Cabbie waved him off.  
  
"right, whatever you say head honcho."  
  
Locke glared at Cabbie before walking off with Key. Cabbie shrugged and caught up to them to ask a question.  
  
"say, why aren't we bringing the other adventurers along?"  
  
The brothers shrugged. Locke was the one to answer with a stern look.  
  
"they _will_ get wiped out."  
  
A feeling of dread passed over them. Locke looked like he had brought up bad memories, so Cabbie kept quiet until they reached the end of the cavern. A deep growl echoed from the end.  
  
"here we are."  
  
The three mentally prepared themselves, and walked through the entrance to the end of the cavern. The cave that they had entered was at least a mile in diameter, with broken stalactites and stalagmites scattered around.  
  
Inside was a giant dragon, with sapphire eyes, azure blue scales, and snow-white wings. It seemed to be angry, as if the trio had interrupted their slumber.  
  
It stood up on all four limbs before emitting several deep roars filled with magic. Perhaps it was laughing...?  
  
Locke and Cabbie rushed forward while Key charged up his magic.

Cabbie formed two miniature Gaster Blasters around his hands while Locke summoned several of his own, using the skull of one as armor while the others floated around him, gathering up magic before firing multiple beams of energy that melted away a few of the dragon's scales.  
  
Cabbie held up the blasters in his hands, their glowing eyes flashing blue and yellow before firing off a barrage of bullets that seemed to be made out of pure magic, puncturing the wings of the dragon.  
  
The dragon gaped as a ball of magic grew around the jaw of the creature, pulling up icicles from the ground that disintegrated into energy before firing off a giant ice beam that solidified into a cylindrical structure, flash freezing anything that got in the way. Locke and Cabbie had luckily dodged away at the last moment.

Cabbie countered the dragon, keeping them on the ground with several angled bones that made a cage for the beast while Locke summoned several blasters, their eyes glowing orange before firing off several fiery beams of magic that incinerated the trapped dragon, baking the flesh of the creature under their scales.  
  
Suddenly, the scales on the creature stood up and cut themselves away from the dragon, hovering around the beast before being launched at supersonic speeds like a blizzard of snow.  
  
Cabbie summoned a giant blaster and hopped in for protection against the barrage. Somehow, Locke had sharpened his senses so much that he could slash the supersonic scales right out of the air with his swords, turning the scales to icy dust like they were nothing. Key stood in place, unmoving against the barrage even as several scales grazed his armor as to not waste magic or his concentration.  
  
The dragon bolted forward towards Locke as his attention was diverted, and slammed into him with their tail, throwing him into a wall as the swords he previously clutched in his hands clattered to the icy ground.  
  
"oh shit."  
  
Cabbie peeked out from the blaster as the blizzard stopped, trying to see Locke through the cloud of frozen debris.  
  
All he could see was the silhouette of Locke, though he could see what had happened more clearly as it cleared. The magical armor and his upper metal armor that he had equipped previously was blown to smithereens. Key appeared next to him, twitching slightly as time seemed to slow down. The ice particles blown up by Locke's impact simply floated in the air. Neither Cabbie or Locke could move their limbs, only able to watch while the yellow flames in Key's eyesockets shone like stars as he walked towards the dragon that was frozen in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i'm really sorry about all these cliffhangers guys
> 
> but i have an appointment in about 10 minutes
> 
> i'll get y'all a better update later on the weekend


	13. Mountain Climbs, Forging Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> food just phases through every sans' teeth in every AU and multiverse
> 
> wow!1!1!!! discovery!1!!1!
> 
> oh and smokes finds a blacksmith/scientist guy with a really funky face with cracks
> 
> radical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know the dialogue for the beginning sucks ASS
> 
> but i've been waiting to write this for like a week
> 
> anyways i'm putting my schedule as 3-4 days because i set unrealistic expectations for myself and expected my readers to criticize me for posting a day late
> 
> tumbleweed rolling
> 
> if i finish a chapter early in two days i'll post it early regardless though
> 
> enjoy...

File Loaded: Smokes  
  
  
  
Smokes' hike up the mountain was not an eventful one. Aside from the occasional mountain goat that stared at him as he sat on a floating bone board with his legs crossed, browsing through WSB on his phone with his one good arm, not much else was happening.   
  
He put away the phone and jumped off the board as it decayed into nothing, landing on a patch of grass in front of the entrance to an all too familiar cavern, covered by buttercups and other lush greenery. It seemed that some of the plants covering the entrance were recently cut off.  
  
"here we are." Smokes took out one of his spare knives and hacked away at the cut-up vegetation until there was a Sans-sized hole large enough for him to fit in before walking through. The cave was cold and damp, but what seemed to be some bioluminescent mushrooms gave away just barely enough light to make out his surroundings. Most of the area that he could see was occupied by a giant pit of death, with no foreseeable end in sight.  
  
Of course, Smokes already knew what to do when he saw such a thing. He walked back towards the entrance, and spun around to run forward.  
  
 _"let's fucking_ ** _goooooo!_ "** He yelled as he leaped over the edge of the pit and into the Underground...  
  
  
\---  
  
  
Asriel and Chara walked through the purple-tinted brick corridors of Home, trying to search for the ancient glyphs left by ancient monster civilizations that came and went from before monsterkind was sealed.  
  
"In a way, the Dreemurr Kingdom and others like it treated Mt. Ebott as a sacred ground, covered in fields of buttercups and gorse that were colloquially named the "Cheaters of Death" for their toughness, even in areas devoid of sunlight or nutrients... that sounds good for an introduction. What do you think, Azzy?"  
  
Asriel groaned and rolled around on the ground.  
  
"C'mon, Chara, hold your horses there! You're doing history homework that's due next week! I reckon we can go exploring-"  
  
Suddenly, they could hear somebody yelling excitedly from the cave which Chara fell in. The two stared, stunned at what they heard. Asriel grabbed Chara's hand and began to run excitedly towards the purple arch that led to the cave.  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
Did they think a monster was going to fall?  
  
No.  
  
  
\---  
  
  
Smokes slowed down in the air with his telekinesis before landing softly on a patch of grass at the base of the pit. He chuckled as he looked up above.  
  
"half-expecting there to be pillows here. guess not, but i'm not a real _softie_ myself though."  
  
He lit a cigarette with the snap of his skeletal fingers, and took a puff as he walked forward through the stone hallway into Home. Though, before he could walk any further outside the purple marble arch, two kids bumped into him, nearly knocking him over.  
  
"that kinda smarts. watch where you're going ne-"  
  
Smokes stopped himself when he realized that the two Dreemurr heirs were staring at him. He flicked away his cigarette as an uncomfortable silence ensued from the stares, causing a bead of sweat to form on his skull.  
  
"you know, it's not really _knife_ to stare."  
  
The two snapped out of their shock. The goat prince spoke first.  
  
"Howdy, I'm Asriel! Who are you? Did you fall from above?"  
  
Smokes felt like he should've kept quiet about his fall, but answered anyways.  
  
"i- uhhh... yeah. i'm smokes."  
  
Needless to say, Smokes was not good with kids. His eyesocket twitched as Asriel grabbed his good arm and pulled him out of the cave while asking several questions.  
  
Chara rolled their eyes at the nickname the skeleton gave himself but kept quiet, following Asriel as he pulled Smokes through the corridors and puzzles of Home, earning the confused looks of several passing monsters as the goat prince chattered with him.  
  
"So you're a skeleton, right?"  
  
Smokes nodded.  
  
"yeah. fortunately i can get some rib-tickling jokes out of it."  
  
Both of the children groaned in annoyance as they walked through the streets of the city towards a large, rectangular building that had a sign, unimaginatively labeled "LAB". Asriel knocked on the door and waited for a response while talking to Smokes.  
  
"There's a skeleton here named Doctor Gaster. A lot of people say he's crazy and ambitious, but I reckon he might know whatever you need to ask about the Underground! See you later!"  
  
Smokes waved as the two siblings walked away into the crowded streets towards their home. As they walked out of view, the lab door opened, revealing a tall skeleton with cracks on each eyesocket wearing a black button-up coat over a white turtleneck sweater. The skeleton's face registered as a mix of inevitability and glee. Any other monster who was close to the lab began to inch away as Smokes and the skeleton talked.  
  
"uh, hey. i'm smokes-"  
  
Gaster cut in.  
  
"Ah, the hopeless and the hopelessly lost meet up! What a wonderous occasion that fate had not yet predicted..." The Doctor ushered the short skeleton into the lab. "Let us discuss further inside my temporary lab. I have brewed some tea in anticipation of your arrival... or anybody else's arrival, really."  
  
Smokes snorted as the door closed behind them. The lab was more of a small, dark unlit home with a kitchen, a table, a television and a couch. He sat on the couch and watched Gaster turn up the heat on the stove under a cold kettle of tea.  
  
"real god damn wackjob, aren't ya?"  
  
The grin on the Doctor's face widened as the absent lights in his cracked eye sockets reappeared.  
  
"Who is to say you aren't, either, my fellow enigma? You supposedly can't remember your own world yet dismantle humanity's weapons of destruction on a whim for entertainment."  
  
Smokes narrowed his eye sockets. What did this crazy old man know?  
  
"the hell do you mean?"  
  
The Doctor laughed as the kettle started whistling with steam.  
  
"Oh, I simply believe your facade to be, hahah, _smoke and mirrors._ It will not be long be too long before this old man gets to use wordplay like that again, I assure you."  
  
Smokes didn't know what to focus on: the fact this old man knew about him without meeting him once, or the fact he was damn crazy.   
  
"who the hell are you?"  
  
Gaster poured the tea and set the two cups on a plate, setting them on the coffee table after spinning on his heel, singing the Riverperson's tune before sitting down on the carpet in front of the couch, cross-legged.  
  
"Oh, how I'd love to say something like Wing Ding Gaster, Wendell Dominic Gaster, or even Aster, but oh, woe is the good Doctor! Doomed to have the infinitesimally small fragments of his memories scattered through space and time. I am but one of those memories, one of his eccentric personality... but who cares...? Our fate is unfortunately sealed as the forgotten scientist who was scattered into fragments that can no longer be recognized as _the doctor_. The followers and the Mystery Man may be the only true fragments of him left untainted by the paintbrushes of mankind! What a tragedy this is."  
  
Smokes was speechless at the theatrics the other skeleton displayed. He could've just answered with a simple yes or no. Regardless, Smokes sipped on the tea, feeling the bone in his broken arm mend back together again. He balled the hand of his now unbroken arm up into a fist, pleased that he could move with it again. Gaster noticed, and let him finish the tea. Smokes asked another question after that.  
  
"...cool. do you know how i can get back h-"  
  
Once again, Gaster cut in after drinking the rest of his tea, unintentionally doing hand signs in the process with a crazed, slightly sarcastic look on his face.  
  
"Ah, you wish to go back to your friend's timeline, do you not? What a strange choice. You choose to ignore what answers and help I can offer just to get home, for friendship! What an endearing display of hidden emotion and quite possibly affection. Such a decision, though..."  
  
Gaster leaned forward as the darkness in the room grew dark, darker, yet darker, and white noise creeped in the background of his voice. Smokes tried to scoot away  
  
"... _is incredibly stupid._ Who is to say Cross will not arrive again? He destroys worlds to piece together what he lost. Knives are not the only thing he possesses, and if you want to compete for the code of worlds you need to relearn how to use your actual magic. I can see the backed-up flow of magic coming from your SOUL. You barely use any because it is hidden behind the shine of gunmetal and cigarette smoke behind a barrel. Answer me, Smokes. Do you want to rediscover your magical abilities, or do you want to watch helplessly as your friend's timeline collapses under the pressure?"  
  
Smokes wanted to answer, but the words got caught in his throat. He fell silent. Gaster's expression twisted back into a cheerful one as a nearby door automatically opened. The royal scientist grabbed Smoke by the arm and pulled him towards what seemed to be his lab.  
  
"I assume your shock is a yes. Come along now, I'm willing to bet we don't have much time to waste before your friends start thinking you dusted, haha!"  
  
After walking down what seemed to be at least two floors, they came before what seemed to be a testing area, with measured chalk lines marking squares on the walls, ceiling, and floor. A control room lied to the side of them with what seemed to be a workshop filled with various tech scraps, tools, and other magical items. Smokes had to make a guess about what was going to happen here, even though he knew any answer he gave would be incorrect for such a crazy guy like Gaster.  
  
"i'm assuming i can make anything except guns...?"  
  
Gaster shook his head as he pulled Smokes into the workshop.  
  
"You can create anything _including_ guns. But don't make a normal, boring one that'll run out of ammunition. Let your imagination flow like the good Doctor did in his prime when he created the first proof-of-concept blaster. I will be grabbing groceries. If you haven't had an idea by then, I'll throw you a _bone_ and put down some of my own ideas. Later."  
  
Gaster left before Smokes could say anything.  
  
"jesus fuck all..."  
  
Smokes lit another cigarette as the overhead fans turned on, and examined what the doctor's storage looked like. A magical crystal for storing mana here, electronic scraps that look like they are centuries away, wards... and of course, metal. Though he was annoyed by the eccentric version of Gaster seen in this world, he could make something useful...  
  
He began to draw the proof-of-concept for his own blaster while grabbing squares of sheet metal, magical items, and other tools, using the drawings of normal blasters already lined up on the walls as examples.  
  
If small guns don't work, use more guns.  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried making Pretale Gaster sound insane, pretty pleased even though i just gave him meta knowledge
> 
> gaster technically separates into fragments, who's to say those fragments won't form minds of their own
> 
> and those fragments will always shatter again and again in their own creation
> 
> beach episode after 1 more chapter...
> 
> pog, perhaps?
> 
> i could do so many concept AUs with smokes it'd be pretty cool if i had an infinite lifespan
> 
> gundam smokes sounds pretty cool though :flushed:


	14. A Battle Against Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yoooo holy shit Key got the world stando
> 
> how menacing!!1!1
> 
> wait a minute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read slowly this time, i compacted the chapter. hope it isn't too short
> 
> thank you for reading!!! ngahhhhh!!! 125 hits!!!!! thank you!!!!!!
> 
> no this doesn't mean i'm finishing the story i just wanted to say thank you =)

File Loaded: Cabbie  
  
  
Key's smile widened as the flames of justice and patience in both of his eye sockets glowed as bright as stars. Cabbie and Locke could only watch in frozen shock as he took slow steps towards the ice dragon. The background magic around him pieced together into giant blasters that glowered at the dragon as steam rolled out of their jaws while the lights in their eye sockets slowly progressed into glowering, shining flames painted with dark yellow and cyan.  
  
The grip Key had on Cabbie, Locke, and the dragon vanished. Cabbie fell out of the jaws of his blaster that he had hid in, flopping to the ground as Locke grabbed his swords and drank what seemed to be a potion, sealing up his wounds. After both of the skeletons readied themselves for the second part of the battle, Cabbie summoned a blaster on his back and secured it with braces made out of bones before flying high into the air, using the blaster as propulsion.  
  
The dragon had finally gotten up and adjusted to the sudden change. It ejected the scales for another barrage as Key put one of his blasters over his head, while Locke readied himself for another blizzard of slashes as he ran closer. Cabbie summoned two giant blasters that sucked in mist-like background magic, charging a ball of energy that shined before firing, emitting two massive beams of energy that punched through the dragon's back legs in order to cover for the twins.  
  
Key let go of his staff as he got closer, holding it in the air with magic, as he bashed the dragon with his blasters using telekinesis, shattering the freshly grown scales on the dragon's body and crushing the flesh of it, spewing ichor everywhere as the blizzard of scales stopped.  
  
Suddenly, even with the dragon's mangled body, it leeched from the magic around it to mend the battered flesh of the dragon as the ichor seemed to flow back into the creature. Locke and Key looked _pissed._  
  
"disgusting." Key flicked away whatever ichor from the dragon that remained on him.  
  
The flames in his eyes flickered as he dashed forward with Locke while Cabbie's blasters pinned down the dragon, repeatedly slamming it to near-death, an effort that was in vain as the dragon regenerated several times without stop.  
  
Locke signaled Key to back off as he grabbed his own blasters with telekinesis and slammed both of them into the dragon to cover for his brother so he could gather more magic.  
  
Key grabbed his staff and launched himself up into the air at the same elevation as Cabbie, landing on a blaster. As he saw Cabbie fire off beams to pin the dragon while Locke bashed at the dragon, he suddenly got an idea. Cabbie noticed this, and grinned even more.  
  
He let his staff float in the air as he summoned _dozens_ of blasters one by one, covering the ceiling of the cavern with furious yellow flames in their eyes as they took in the background magic, growing draconic features as the black-and-white balls of energy became too unstable to take in any more magic.  
  
Key felt the bone around his eye sockets crack and the flames in them grow red as he stopped everything in his view with telekinesis for the second time as the blasters gaped at the dragon, letting loose an endless amount of magic beams that weaved around each other in the air until they punched through the dragon, engulfing it in white light laced with yellow-blue flames as Locke leaped away from the blast zone.  
  
Cabbie could see Key's arms begin to crack and the bone around his eye sockets shatter, falling unconscious while he fell from his bone platform on a crash course towards the cold, hard ground. Cabbie leaped off his own platform to rocket towards Key using his blaster jetpack, and grabbed him before landing to set him down at the entrance of the cave.   
  
Both Locke and Cabbie silently hoped that the dragon was dead.  
  
As the smoke cleared, though, they found the dragon could still move, though it was battered. The wings of the dragon were ripped apart, and the scales of the dragon couldn't cover the mashed, bloody flesh that it could not regenerate. It required background magic to work, and Key used his blasters to take it all in for one final blow. Unfortunately, the background magic outside the cavern was beginning to flow back in, and Cabbie couldn't teleport away with a body in tow forever, unless he wanted to teleport outside, which would allow the ice-dragon to kill everybody outside the entrance.  
  
Time was running out as Cabbie panicked, trying to carry Key away from the dragon, though it was catching up. Locke's blasters had fizzled out of existence, and what seemed to be his lack of mana capacity prevented him from using anything beyond a steadily dwindling amount of bones mixed with blue magic, which the dragon easily crushed as it ran after Cabbie. The ice-dragon's legs were slowly being healed by the regeneration from background magic behind absorbed. Cabbie kept teleporting away, but the mana he had left was reduced massively, and the ice-dragon was moving faster than he could run. Should've taken Undyne's ~~torture~~ exercise class when he had the chance, huh?  
  
A sudden explosion rang out from the cavern's walls near the entrance, kicking up clouds of icy dust and debris. The dragon turned to the cloud and fired an ice-beam as a preemptive strike. The beam solidified into a thin layer of ice that rapidly cracked and gave way, as if something had shielded the source of the explosion. As the dust cleared, Cabbie and Locke could hear rounds being fed into a weapon as the heavy footsteps of steel-toed boots echoed throughout the cavern.  
  
The figure became more clear as they left the cloud of dust, but stopped right before any of them could see their face. As they raised their arm into the air, everybody could hear the spinning of a minigun. The figure snapped their fingers as the minigun's spinning reached a climax, and yelled out with the voice of a chainsmoker.  
  
 _ **"a thousand rounds of thirty-fuckin'-millimeter ammunition, coming right the hell up!"**_  
  
The ear-splitting noise of a hundred gunshots per second rang throughout the cavern as the rapid muzzle flash from the cloud of dust shone like a star.  
  
A countless number of beams of light pierced through the dragon, tearing through scales and flesh alike before detonating inside the dragon flinging scorching hot, blood-covered shrapnel everywhere that tore through ground and flesh alike. The creature fell to the ground as hundreds of rounds ripped through it, wheezing as they took their last breath.  
  
The firing suddenly stopped, allowing for the minigun's barrel to stop spinning as the smoke cleared, revealing Smokes in all his chain-smoking glory taking a puff from his cigarette, wearing his favorite trench coat with a star-shaped tie. Alongside him was the giant blackened skull of a ram, with horns that glittered gold and braces that connected them with where the nasal bone would be, replaced the hexagonal barrel containing the rotary gun inside.   
  
As the blaster disappeared, Smokes held his hand to his forehead as a brief, casual salute. Cabbie held out a thumbs up while Locke saluted back in the same way.  
  
"heh, y'all look like shit." Smokes glanced at the unconscious _skeleton Key_ and grimaced. "sorry i couldn't get here faster, that crazy doctor was too busy writing poetry to build the teleporter."  
  
Locke waved him off as he got up from the ground with a groan as his makeshift blaster armor dissipated.  
  
"don't worry about it. just a scar. by the way, you gotta teach me how to make that blaster, holy hell."  
  
Smokes shrugged as he watched the ice-dragon's body and ichor evaporate into pure magic that dispersed in the air. He turned to Cabbie, who was carrying Key on a board of green bones.  
  
"so, i reckon you got the timeline reader fixed?"  
  
Cabbie shook his head.  
  
"we have the parts for it in a crate back at the taxi. i'll get it fixed in a bit. let's get going."  
  
The three skeletons (and one unconscious skeleton) walked back to the entrance. It seemed significantly warmer out, as the icicles had began to melt and fall. As they reached the caravan, adventurers and medics practically rushed them, grabbing up Key and throwing him (gently) into a temporary medical tent. Another adventurer who seemed to be the primary healer walked up to Locke while saluting. Locke saluted back.  
  
"I need to inform you that Key will need some time before the leakage of dust from the area affected by magical burnout."  
  
Locke nodded, and the healer walked off.  
  
After around a minute, they arrived back at the taxi. The kid jumped up from the backseat in surprise as Locke and Cabbie got back in the taxi. Smokes hopped in the trunk after setting the crate in the backseat so that Cabbie could work.  
  
Cabbie pulled out a few tools from the crate along with some materials before getting to work on the mangled timeline reader.  
  
  
\---  
  
  
After ten minutes, Cabbie wiped a skeletal hand over his forehead as he finished up the repairs to the reader. He set the tools back in the crate as Key came back, with fresh scars all around his eye sockets and arms, while the caravan was packing up behind him. Locke chuckled in his seat.  
  
"kinda sucks that my bro has more scars than me now, huh?"  
  
Key grinned as he sat with the kid and Toriel in the backseat. Cabbie looked back at everybody in the taxi.  
  
"everybody ready to go back home and... uh... go to a beach or something like in those anime things that alphys watches...?"  
  
Everybody gave a thumbs-up, though Cabbie glanced at Locke and Key.  
  
"you two sure you wanna come with us?"  
  
Both of them nodded at a rapid pace. Key looked out the window at the caravan.  
  
"we literally hate our jobs now. seeing your tech, your mannerisms... it's kinda obvious we should live there, right?"  
  
Cabbie nodded back, and adjusted the coordinates on the reader back to his own timeline.  
  
"justified. better prepare for some culture shock, huh? hope you don't _freeze up_."  
  
The five in the taxi laughed as the vehicle glowed a shining blue, teleporting back onto the Void Highway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this little arc was like a 10000 words long, thanks for being so patient, the beach episode will come on the weekend
> 
> the concept writing for smokes' blasters was kind of abandoned since it took assets from free-use abandoned AUs such as Fellswap Gold, but the concept was like 300 words alone for the blasters alone and smokes' character sheet itself was 100 words
> 
> smokes' gunmetal grey or black trenchcoat is actually inspired by Sudden Changes
> 
> sudden changes is a cool au but because the medium of presentation for the AU shifted the game for Sudden Changes has been in the works for years
> 
> i decided to give a unique twist on Sudden Changes!Sans 
> 
> what came out was a chain-smoking gun fanatic with a soft spot for people who are really nice to him (and guns)


	15. SMTS Beach Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8 skeletons go to a beach...
> 
> ...in another au that hasn't discovered the multiverse yet...
> 
> maybe we should just rent out a space on the beach? wait, make sure insans doesn't kill everybody. good idea
> 
> we didn't invite geno, we were too lazy to. sorry geno
> 
> by the way, who's gonna buy snacks?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 160 hits?!?!?!?!? epic...
> 
> this was great to see on my birthday, thanks guys.
> 
> enjoy the beach episode...
> 
> i could've finished this in two days, but i just felt so sluggish for some reason last night... sorry.

Neither Locke or Key paid much mind to the screens in the 'sky' of the Void around them as Cabbie drove on the Void Highway. The kid seemed to be upset about Key's new scars. He felt bad, trying to look away as Toriel tried to distract and comfort the kid by telling bad puns.  
  
Apart that, and from the occasional annoyed yelp from Smokes inside the trunk whenever they drove over a bump or a pothole in some of the rougher parts of the road, they spent most of the drive in silence.  
  
The time it took to teleport was noticeably longer than before, and Smokes got an idea. He started to speak from inside the trunk.  
  
"hey, anybody wanna go on a vacation? i know a cool universe we could go to."  
  
Both Locke and Key held out a thumbs up, while Cabbie shrugged, holding out a thumbs up himself. Toriel was the only one to shake their head, and sighed.  
  
"After the events of today, I do not think I can let the little one go to yet another world in such a... volatile spiderweb of universes with a clear mind. I am sorry."  
  
Key glanced away as Smokes tried to reassure Toriel.  
  
"nah, don't worry about it. i was expecting that answer, anyways. we've all been through a hell of a lot of sh- i mean... uhh... stuff."  
  
Smokes could feel a bead of sweat roll down his skull as he tried saving himself from cursing in front of the kid, much to Toriel's appreciation.   
  
The taxi shined blue as they teleported back home.  
  
  
\---  
  
  
They landed in front of the driveway with a soft thud. After everybody unbuckled their seatbelts, Toriel and the kid got out of the car to walk away after waving at Cabbie. Cabbie waved back as Locke and Key got out of the taxi, while Smokes leaped out of the trunk after throwing it open.  
  
Cabbie got back in the taxi and drove it into the garage. He got out of the car and shrugged at Smokes.  
  
"i'll need a little while to make some full repairs to the reader thingamajig, so you go do your thing and buy supplies i guess."  
  
Smokes held out a thumbs-up as he walked through the front door. US!Papyrus (we really need a new nickname for him), Stars, Insans, and Fell were all sitting on the couch, watching television. Most of them waved, except for Fell. Smokes cleared his throat to talk.  
  
"guess what? we nearly god damn _died_. who wants to go on a vacation with us so we can distract ourselves from that?"  
  
Most of the room was silent, apart from Insans giggling about new friends. Oh boy.  
  
"uh... i'll pay for drinks."  
  
The rest of the room followed after Fell got up.  
  
"sold. buy me mustard."  
  
Smokes shrugged. He jot down the rest of the gang's preferences after a minute. He left for the garage and came back with a box cooler.  
  
"okay, lemme know if i got this wrong... insans wanted tabasco sauce for whatever ungodly reason, fell wanted mustard, don't blame him, US!Paps wanted honey, Stars wanted a starfait, nice pun... alright, lastly, Locke and Key wanted just plain old ketchup. works for me. i'll write off cabbie as ketchup, too. anybody got objections?"  
  
Nobody raised their hand. Smokes nodded.  
  
"alright. by the way, by vacation we mean going to another pacifist universe and relaxing, because i'm too damn lazy to set up all that vacation schedule hoo-ha. i'll buy the drinks there. any of you wanna go to the beach? weather's perfect in that universe around this time."  
  
Most of the skeletons held out a thumbs-up, aside from Fell, who just shrugged.  
  
"sand in my eye sockets just feels iffy, but whatever. your vacation, your damn rules."  
  
Smokes nodded as Cabbie walked in from the garage. He waved.  
  
"repairs are done. we can go wherever we want pretty fast now. speaking of the taxi, how the hell are we gonna fit eight skeletons in one four-seat taxi?"  
  
Fell scoffed as he was walking back to his room to prepare.  
  
"it's not like there's wind in the damn void to throw us off if we try sitting on the hood or trunk."  
  
Cabbie shrugged.  
  
"works for me. i overheard that we're going to a beach. i think there's some folding chairs and beach umbrellas out in the basement."  
  
Smokes held out a thumbs-up as he walked down the basement stairs. Cabbie sat on the now-empty couch as everybody got ready to go on a beach vacation.  
  
"i wonder what alternate universe we're gonna go to...?"  
  
After a few minutes, the gang gathered up at the taxi. Smokes packed the folding chairs, umbrellas, and a filled gasoline generator with a small television into the trunk. Locke, Key, Fell, and Stars sat in the taxi, while US!Papyrus, Smokes, and Insans sat on top of the trunk. Cabbie sat out of the window in the drivers seat to see Smokes.  
  
"where to, smokes?"  
  
Smokes turned to Cabbie.  
  
"the alternate universe is called growthspurt. long story, no simple answer... just go."  
  
Cabbie shrugged as he adjusted the reader and turned the key. The taxi glowed blue as they teleported back into the Void onto a familiar road, spending the drive in relative silence.  
  
  
\---  
  
  
"welp, we're here."  
  
The taxi had landed in a parking square in front of the beach next to various cars and shocked on-lookers. Everybody in the taxi got out as the rest hopped off the trunk. Smokes waved to Cabbie with a box cooler in his hand.  
  
"i'll get the drinks at the grocery store or something. don't start relaxing without me, y'all."  
  
Cabbie and Key waved as Smokes walked across the street past curious citizens. He could spot the supermarket, which was around half a mile away. With a cigarette in his mouth, he started his epic journey towards the store to attain the drinks of a gang of skeletons.  
  
As he walked down the sidewalk, across streets and what-not, he got several dirty looks from the... less accepting folk.  
  
He didn't exactly mind the looks, though. Religion, political figures, even advertisements had that effect. A skeleton with the horns of a ram dressed in black, white and yellow while smoking doesn't exactly represent purity or kindness.  
  
After a few minutes, he arrived at the store and walked through the automatic sliding doors.  
  
Above the shelves around him were signs labeled with various goods and other services. He walked off to the side so he wouldn't block the flow of traffic and looked up around at the signs.  
  
Aisle 21... Aisle 24... Aisle 27. He stopped in front of the aisle after reading the sign. Condiments, soft drinks, and "oddly placed starfaits". Weird thing to put on a sign, but Smokes wasn't judging.  
  
He grabbed a value pack of ketchup, a bottle of mustard, a 6-pack of soda, some honey...  
  
Just as he was about to grab the tabasco sauce and oddly placed starfait, he heard a voice behind him.  
  
"Well... that's a sight that's going on my steadily growing list of otherworldly or impossible things that have happened to me."  
  
A second, more familiar voice chimed in.  
  
"no kidding, huh? seems i need to ketchup with fashion nowadays."  
  
The first voice groaned. Smokes turned around to greet them, and saw two figures. One was a lanky, fluffy boss monster that Undyne would probably call a beanpole, carrying another version of Sans by the coat. Smokes shrugged and went along with it as he grabbed the rest of the drinks, including a small pack of mass-produced starfaits, each in a clear plastic cup no larger than a can.  
  
"nah, it's all smoke and mirrors from here. i'm not gonna bleat around the bush, trench coats are certainly cool, but it's snow kidding when i say any coat looks good on skeletons like us."  
  
Smokes could see the goat twitch for a moment out of annoyance. Both the Other-Sans and Smokes chuckled.  
  
"anyways, i'm smokes, and you two are...?"  
  
The goat blinked for a moment before answering.  
  
"My name is Asriel, as in the goat kid, yada yada, you know the story. This guy who I'm dragging along with me is Sans, but I get the feeling you already knew that."  
  
Smokes glanced away.  
  
"guess so. we could _patella_ each other so many jokes, amiright?"  
  
The Other-Sans laughed.  
  
"yup. so, why are you getting so many drinks 'n stuff? got a party you need to go to?"  
  
Smokes had an idea right then and there.  
  
"yeah, just by the beach. we have all sorts of snacks, wanna come to the party?"  
  
Asriel stood there for a moment, thinking.  
  
"I don't see why not. Let me just text my mom real quick."  
  
Asriel pulled out his phone as he dropped Sans onto the floor. Sans got up and held a hand out to Smokes for a handshake. Asriel turned with his phone still in his hand just as they were about to shake hands...  
  
"Oh no."  
  
As they shook hands, the horrifying sound of flatulence caused by two whoopie cushions meeting rang out across the store, pushing signs and carts with the pure force of the blast. Sans and Smokes had the smuggest grins on their faces ever as several people turned to the aisle where the sound came from. Smokes chuckled with Sans.  
  
"we always were a fun bag o' bones, huh?"  
  
Sans looked at Smokes curiously, but shrugged.  
  
"yup. so, lead us to the party smokey."  
  
Smokes grabbed another pack of ketchup and walked over to self-checkout.  
  
After getting at least twenty curious or less-than-enthusiastic (hint: racist) looks from various people in the store, he paid for the goods with the rest of the human money he had on hand and walked out of the store after bagging what he bought into the cooler. He stopped on the relatively clear sidewalk next to him as Sans and Asriel gave him confused looks before summoning a large, floating board of bones.  
  
"i don't think it'll rib you apart. hop on."  
  
Sans and Asriel stepped on the board with Smokes as it began to float in the air towards the beach. Asriel seemed confused at such a thing, while Sans was chuckling. Smokes shrugged as he lit another cigarette with the snap of his fingers.  
  
"bones defy gravity, so i made a board of them as a vehicle. cool, right?"  
  
Asriel nodded slowly, staring down below at the streets. Smokes really hoped he didn't have a fear of heights. Sans drank from a bottle of ketchup he had saved in his jacket while Smokes finished his cigarette and lit another. Sans raised an eyebrow at the sight.  
  
"kind of a chain-smoker, aren't ya?"  
  
Smokes shrugged.  
  
"guess you could say smoking's in my bones, then."  
  
Both of them chuckled.  
  
After a few minutes, the three landed in front of the beach. In the distance, Cabbie was waving at them while Insans chased Fell, who was carrying the television. Locke and Key were setting up the chairs and umbrellas, while US!Papyrus was starting up the generator as Stars laughed at him, clearly failing from the lack of arm strength, or lack of an arm at all, because his arm popped off trying to start it.  
  
Smokes turned to the two, who were staring at the gang with confused expressions.  
  
"welp, we're here. that sandsational gaggle of skeletons over there is where our party is."  
  
Asriel looked at Smokes before walking with him and Sans towards the beach with the rest of the gang. After reaching the 'edge' of the party, Stars floated to them to meet the new arrivals.  
  
"new friends?"  
  
Smokes nodded, and held up the starfait. Stars showed a thumbs-up as he took it and floated away. Asriel looked at Smokes again.  
  
"You have weird buds."  
  
Smokes chuckled as he handed the tabasco sauce to Insans after he had set the television on a plastic folding table.  
  
"guess you could say they bloomed into good pals, eh?"  
  
Asriel's face twisted into a deadpan expression at the pun as he sat in front of the television on a folding chair with Sans. Smokes tossed a ketchup bottle and a soda to Sans, who promptly handed the soda to Asriel.  
  
After handing the mustard to Fell, throwing the honey to US!Papyrus (who was still trying to attach his arm), and handing three bottles of ketchup to Cabbie, who passed two of them to the brothers, he sat on a chair as US!Papyrus finally pulled the generator cord enough to start it up.  
  
After everybody had sat down in front of the television, Smokes, with the remote to the TV clutched in one hand and a soda in the other, stood up while facing the rest of the gang.  
  
"you know, i feel like i should be celebrating a birthday or something, but uh... cheers to not dying, and cheers to cabbie's business."  
  
Everybody held their drinks in the air as Smokes turned the TV, flickering on to show ALIVE!Mettaton's broadcast, singing as the party started up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll mainly be re-enacting undertale memes after this chapter, but don't worry, there'll be more epic fights to come
> 
> i have a new fanfiction idea, i'll make it maybe in the next few months
> 
> "Multiversal Express" or "The Snowdin Express"...?
> 
> i'll use the 1-day breaks i take to write it


	16. A Golden End, And A New Beginning...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *But nobody came.

A few years later...  
  
  
\---  
  
  
Undyne roared as she leaped onto the ice.  
  
"Come on y'all, it's snow hockey time!"  
  
Cabbie sat on a nearby bench as everybody else had a ferocious battle against the true fish woman, both sides racking up dozens of points. Cabbie chuckled as a fluffy white dog leaped on the bench, ready to pounce at the puck the gang was throwing around. After a minute, they were all chasing the dog until it literally flew into the sun with the puck.  
  
Cabbie pulled out a photo of the skeleton gang from his coat pocket. He took a good look at it, before shoving it back into his coat, sighing as he got up when the game ended.  
  
  
\---  
  
  
Cabbie opened the garage door and flicked the light switch next to him as he walked in. With a few odd electrical noises, the lights started up after a moment, revealing his brother's shiny red sports car, and a beige tarp covering a large object.  
  
He walked past multiple memories as he got closer to the tarp-covered vehicle. Smokes' old ram blaster that was bolted together from scrap metal as a template, the recording of their "sans news" joke broadcast, the beach party in Growthspurt...  
  
Cabbie stopped in front of the tarp and flipped it over with telekinesis, revealing the dusty old taxi. He only drove it around about thirty times before he stopped the business, but it felt like he was meeting up with the memories of his old friends again. All of them had gone back to their own worlds and timelines. Cabbie looked back at the memories he made and the happiness his friends had found.  
  
Stars and the rest of his space-bound civilization escaped the EM field trapping them in the Ebott Quadrant, allowing them to step on the fresh ground of their Earth.  
  
Fell and Insans split up, each braving through conflicts of their own with their friends. Fell got to breath in fresh air as he stared at the sunset with everybody, while Insans battled against the absolute god of hyperdeath with his friends, and even his enemies. Cabbie had yet to hear back from Insans, though Fell kept in contact before he mysteriously stopped calling a year ago. Cabbie blamed it on a reset.  
  
Smokes had continued to wander throughout the Multiverse as an unidentified gunslinger who interfered with battles between other Sanses such as Cross for control over the code of popular universes such as Underswap and Underfell. After wiring a ton of money into Cabbie's account, he disappeared from contact with anybody except for his enemies.  
  
US!Papyrus went to live in the OT, never realizing the small but steadily increasing HP loss that had killed him in his sleep peacefully. Cabbie showed up at his funeral after remembering how Smokes visited the dimension years ago.  
  
Geno worked with Locke and Key after they had caught up with modern society, trying to find ways to prevent resets or at least preserve information for their past selves. In doing so, they documented and published the first comprehensive (and controversial) history on time-related anomalies throughout history.  
  
...and Cabbie? Cabbie sat around as he usually did, drinking ketchup at Grillby's new location in the city while his brother continued calling him a lazybones. He felt pathetic.  
  
...  
  
Cabbie threw up the hood of the taxi and stared at the old time machine for a moment before grabbing some various tools with telekinesis.  
  
"c'mon. let's get you out of this damn old thing. i think i have an idea."  
  
The picture of the skeletons slipped out of his jacket as he began working. Everybody's signature was haphazardly scribbled on the back of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a permanent hiatus for SMTS.
> 
> SMTS will, and I say WILL, get a reboot as a canonical RESET as a threequel if the sequel, Snowdin Express, does not work out.
> 
> Do I want to keep writing SMTS? Hell yes! It's been barely a month since I put this fanfiction up and there's already 180 hits with 12 kudos. Thank you so much for this. This was a major confidence boost I needed to continue my hobby/passion, which means I will continue to learn about write stories, fanfictions, novels that I desperately hope will satisfy my readers.
> 
> Right now, SMTS is in a state where I believe I cannot repair the quality of writing without tearing apart the structure and the story in the process without a reboot. I try very hard to get my writing to flow, but when I forced deadlines of 3 days on myself when I clearly allowed a squeeze room of 4 days is unacceptable for myself and readers. You deserve better writing quality, and the pressure I'm putting on myself is interfering with that quality.
> 
> A fresh start. I'm gonna take a week or two off to write out more chapters for the sequel, and focus on schoolwork.
> 
> Have a good day, and enjoy reading the first chapter of Snowdin Express. Chapters will go up when they go up. *wink*


End file.
